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Kevin Leman in his fantastic book Sheet Music, explains to wives that men are naturally born voyers. We simply like to see and hear sex. The trick of course is to focus that fully on our wives and away from outside temptation. This is likely why you will see repeatedly on here men desperately wishing their wives would show more enthusiasm during sex.
It might be embarrassing, but I would encourage you to explain to your wife that hearing the neighbors is a turn on and see if she could help you avoid and distract you from that temptation. That should be a win all around.
That's the way I am with provocative images. Been porn free for 7 months, but have seen a few things recently that would probably count as softcore porn. Wasn't my intent to look at it, but once they popped up I struggled to pull my eyes away. I have a similar reaction to reading erotica...just can't go down those roads.
In this case, it's entirely involuntary for you to have it thrust upon you, and I know how horrible that feels. Just realize you're not alone and keep praying and being honest with your DW.
Maybe wireless headphones during the day? Getting out for exercise has been said, but I'll re-iterate it.
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Seems like redirection is a good thing. First of all, I believe what Tim stated from Kevin Leman is correct. There is a normal sensation fixation hardwired into men. It's not an excuse for wrong or sinful behavior...but it does give some understanding. Then it becomes a question of, what are we going to do about it now?
- 2 Cor. 10:5 - "Take every thought captive" and Rom. 12 keep "renewing your mind" Thank God for your gift (your wife) and focus your sexuality on her. Let her "breasts satisfy you".
- What can you do to help redirect? "Play worship music or background noise to cover other sounds". If you do hear something (whatever), go back to step one, and quote Scripture, listen to worship music, get out of the house, go exercise somewhere, etc.
While it's not quite the same, here's the process I go through when I receive visual stimulation. There are times when I see a woman and think, "WOWZA!" for whatever reason. I can't help the first look but what I do after that is the key because my mind will start to wander sometimes so I have to look away and "bounce my eyes" (Every Man's Battle) and "take every thought captive"...so I think to myself: celebrate God's gift of that person who is God's creation and someone else's wife, girlfriend, daughter and then celebrate the wife God gave me, and me alone, and I like to quote the Scripture, Prov. 5:18-19, "Rejoice in the wife of your youth...let her breasts satisfy you." Then I like to go home, see my wife and say, "I need to see your breasts" and tell her what happened, (no secrets, honesty breeds intimacy). Thankfully, I have a wife who seemingly understands me, how guys think, and allows me full access because I want to "drink from my own cistern" and "her breasts satisfy" me. Why would I want to go anywhere else?
Now, some of you might be saying, "Hey, easy for you NWNL. My wife isn't like that." Yes, we might be in different marital situations now. THANK GOD my wife is gracious to me and generous in our MB. HOWEVER, I was previously married to a gatekeeper & refuser and sex was not a significant part of our MB for the last 10 years and I still had to "took every thought captive" in my previous marriage as well so I understand your frustration. The choice and Scripture is still the same for all of us...AND maybe this could be used as a springboard for honest communication between you and your spouse and also with a quality Christian counselor.