Special Groups

We have sections you must join to use. You can see the full list here. Most you can join with a click. The medical and pastoral groups require approval.
Note, some groups were not accepting new members properly. That is fixed.

Is Porn An Addiction?

Addiction, fantasy, habitual masturbation ...
Forum rules
Post in this section can be seen by guests and search engines.
LBD
On the floor
On the floor
Posts: 1503
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am
Location: Heart of Dixie

Re: Is Porn An Addiction?

Post by LBD »

@PaulB - I don’t think you were ever addicted. I don’t think the beast ever had you in his mouth, much less in his belly. By your own admission, it was fairly easy for you to give it up. With all due respect, I don’t think you understand. I think you are misplacing the blame on a label. That’s not where the problem is.

On the contrary to your basic position, in my estimation, calling it an addiction can be the wake-up call someone needs. Why do I need to worry about a simple compulsion or “bad little habit”? “It’s just a little sin that hurts nobody...right?”

No, it’s an additive product and activity that can ruin your life. One better get serious about stopping, addressing the issues behind it and recovering.
It is usually futile to try to talk facts and analysis to people who are enjoying a sense of moral superiority in their ignorance. -Thomas Sowell
::dog
Doug
King bed
King bed
Posts: 396
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am

Re: Is Porn An Addiction?

Post by Doug »

"And suggesting to people they will probably struggle seems to be a self-fulfilling prophesy."

I don't see anyone suggesting that. I see people acknowledging that you might struggle. Not everyone who drinks a beer becomes an alcoholic, but that fact does nothing to sessen the struggle of those who do. Not everyone who smokes a joint becomes a drug addict, but many do.

The problem I have with your assertion is that it does not address that side of the issue. What do you say to the man or woman who genuinely has a difficult time quitting. What do you tell their spouse? He should be able to quit at will. He must not love you very much. There is a great deal of learning that has not yet happened. I find the matter largely inconclusive, because you do have reputable people on both sides of the argument. I don't know how you can make the claim that porn re-wires your brain in some ways, and totally rule out the possibility that it can be addictive.

I really think you are making your argument based more on feelings or what you want to be true, rather than looking at the facts.
User avatar
PaulB
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 713
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2020 4:53 pm
Location: Eastern Washington
Contact:

Re: Is Porn An Addiction?

Post by PaulB »

LBD wrote: Thu Jan 28, 2021 10:45 amI don’t think you were ever addicted.
Given I don't think it's an addiction, I agree with you. But I know that's not your point
LBD wrote: Thu Jan 28, 2021 10:45 amI don’t think the beast ever had you in his mouth, much less in his belly. By your own admission, it was fairly easy for you to give it up.
If by easy you mean I never "slipped" then yes. But I certainly missed it. I'd done it nightly for years.
LBD wrote: Thu Jan 28, 2021 10:45 am On the contrary to your basic position, in my estimation, calling it an addiction can be the wake-up call someone needs.
I suppose it depends on what else comes with that label,
Happily married for 36 years and living the good life near two of our grandsons!

Marriage and Sex Educator & Blogger
The Generous HusbandThe XY Code
User avatar
PaulB
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 713
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2020 4:53 pm
Location: Eastern Washington
Contact:

Re: Is Porn An Addiction?

Post by PaulB »

Doug wrote: Thu Jan 28, 2021 11:53 am "And suggesting to people they will probably struggle seems to be a self-fulfilling prophesy."

I don't see anyone suggesting that.
There is a huge and fast growing very lucrative industry doing that. And they, BTW, were the one's pushing for it to be called an addiction in the DMS.
Doug wrote: Thu Jan 28, 2021 11:53 amThe problem I have with your assertion is that it does not address that side of the issue. What do you say to the man or woman who genuinely has a difficult time quitting.
I alluded to that, I am well aware of the danger.
Doug wrote: Thu Jan 28, 2021 11:53 amWhat do you tell their spouse? He should be able to quit at will.
I don't believe I ever said that.
Doug wrote: Thu Jan 28, 2021 11:53 amI really think you are making your argument based more on feelings or what you want to be true, rather than looking at the facts.
Well the facts say it's not an addiction. It does not work like a substance addiction or a gambling addiction.

I assume you don't disagree that how we label it matters. And what we tell people to expect also matters, doesn't it?
Happily married for 36 years and living the good life near two of our grandsons!

Marriage and Sex Educator & Blogger
The Generous HusbandThe XY Code
User avatar
Hiswifeagain
Queen bed
Queen bed
Posts: 226
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am
Location: The Land of 10,000 Lakes

Re: Is Porn An Addiction?

Post by Hiswifeagain »

I have not experienced porn addiction on either side so I hope it's okay for me to share my thoughts.

I don't have an opinion one way or the other about whether porn use should be classified as an addiction. I do wonder if those that consider it an addiction feel that to not classify it as such seems to minimize the difficulty in overcoming it?

I have a son with heroin addiction. He was taught in the many treatments he went through that in addiction "relapse is part of recovery". I believe that teaching was not helpful for him. It seemed to make it more excusable for him to slip. (He wouldn't often repeat that to us when he was relapsing). So I think I understand Paul B's perspective. I, personally, never liked the 12 step recovery strategy of "admitting you are powerless to the addiction" for those in Christ because through the Holy Spirit we are not powerless. I believe the enemy would like us to believe we are powerless so we don't tear down that stronghold.

I have experienced addiction to smoking in the past. Ultimately I had to choose to stop because I wanted something else more than I wanted cigarettes. Maybe I'm naive but I believe whether we call it an addiction, sin, stronghold, or whatever else, it comes down to making the choice to say "no" to self and "yes" to what is better.

I don't want to minimize anyone's pain in dealing with porn or any other habitual sin because the pain and struggle are real.

(My son is doing well in his recovery now and does attend a recovery group at our church.)
Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15
LBD
On the floor
On the floor
Posts: 1503
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am
Location: Heart of Dixie

Re: Is Porn An Addiction?

Post by LBD »

PaulB wrote: Thu Jan 28, 2021 1:28 pm If by easy you mean I never "slipped" then yes. But I certainly missed it. I'd done it nightly for years.
When did you start, what were the circumstances?
It is usually futile to try to talk facts and analysis to people who are enjoying a sense of moral superiority in their ignorance. -Thomas Sowell
::dog
User avatar
PaulB
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 713
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2020 4:53 pm
Location: Eastern Washington
Contact:

Re: Is Porn An Addiction?

Post by PaulB »

HWA wrote: Thu Jan 28, 2021 3:35 pm I, personally, never liked the 12 step recovery strategy of "admitting you are powerless to the addiction" for those in Christ because through the Holy Spirit we are not powerless.
There is a group called Celebrate Recovery which bills itself as "a Christ centered, 12 step recovery program". I have spent a lot of time with a friend who has been sober for decades. He started in AA, but likes CR much better because it is biblical.

Yes, we are powerless, but IN HIM we are not. You won't get that in a AA.
Happily married for 36 years and living the good life near two of our grandsons!

Marriage and Sex Educator & Blogger
The Generous HusbandThe XY Code
LBD
On the floor
On the floor
Posts: 1503
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:00 am
Location: Heart of Dixie

Re: Is Porn An Addiction?

Post by LBD »

I do wonder if those that consider it an addiction feel that to not classify it as such seems to minimize the difficulty in overcoming it?
That is my position for certain. PaulB seems to take the opposite opinion. I think it is totally a difference in perspective and experience.
Yes, we are powerless, but IN HIM we are not. You won't get that in a AA.
Again, that is dependent on the AA program group/leader. I have close friends who have had deeply Biblical AA experiences. The group lead can mold his group as he see fit.
It is usually futile to try to talk facts and analysis to people who are enjoying a sense of moral superiority in their ignorance. -Thomas Sowell
::dog
User avatar
PaulB
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 713
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2020 4:53 pm
Location: Eastern Washington
Contact:

Re: Is Porn An Addiction?

Post by PaulB »

LBD wrote: Thu Jan 28, 2021 3:47 pm When did you start, what were the circumstances?
My first viewing was age 6 or 7. It was occasional for years. I learned to masturbate to orgasm at 10, shortly before puberty. Significant porn use stated at 11 to 12. By 13 it was a nightly thing. That lasted 30 months or so before I stopped.
Happily married for 36 years and living the good life near two of our grandsons!

Marriage and Sex Educator & Blogger
The Generous HusbandThe XY Code
User avatar
PaulB
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 713
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2020 4:53 pm
Location: Eastern Washington
Contact:

Re: Is Porn An Addiction?

Post by PaulB »

LBD wrote: Thu Jan 28, 2021 3:51 pm
I do wonder if those that consider it an addiction feel that to not classify it as such seems to minimize the difficulty in overcoming it?
That is my position for certain. PaulB seems to take the opposite opinion. I think it is totally a difference in perspective and experience.
I can certainly understand that. I have friends who have struggled with it for years; I have no doubt it can be very difficult.

Part of this is my personality - calling it an addiction when the best science says it's not bothers me just like calling a dog a fish would bother me. But that is second to seeing how labels can help or hurt recovery.
Happily married for 36 years and living the good life near two of our grandsons!

Marriage and Sex Educator & Blogger
The Generous HusbandThe XY Code
Post Reply

Return to “Pornography / Erotica”