lack of sexual intimacy and bondage

Any sexual problems or difficulties not listed in a specific section.
athenaspell
Newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Jun 06, 2015 5:41 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): November 23rd, 2013
Gender: Female
Location: Hanover PA

lack of sexual intimacy and bondage

Postby athenaspell » Sat Jun 06, 2015 6:36 am

I feel betrayed. My husband gradually stopped initiating sexually towards me many months ago.He only seems to be pleasured when I [mod edit] force him to do sexual things where I am dominating him. I dont mind playing with this idea but he holds little interest in sex otherwise. Ive become a very bitter and angry woman inside after many excuses of why he doesnt show interest in me. I also discovered back in October of last year that he was trying to seek sexual play outside of our marriage. I love my husband but struggle with trust and now have experienced complete rejection and frustration. I have no idea if he is really low in testosterone as he claims or just having his sexual needs met elsewhere. Im fighting off urges to move out of our bedroom and possibly separate from him. We struggle in communication ( although this has gotten a lot better), still , Im an emotional mess and Im so angry Im starting to not want to work things through. Ive discussed my feelings with him multiple times and nothing has changed. Im tired of his excuses.

I know very well how God feels about reconciliation. Im actually a mature christian... but this issue has me in a corner. I feel like a palm tree in a desert that is all withered. There is no sexual water in my life. I feel like Im laying in the sand with the hot sun upon my face and Im burning up alive with no one to save me. It is worse than a feeling of starvation. Im very frustrated.. at this point, Im asking God to do a miracle. My lack of trust and the extreme rejection Im experiencing is overwhelming.. I am wondering what to do next...

User avatar
SquarePants
California King
Posts: 879
Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2011 8:31 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 10th, 2005
Gender: Male

Re: lack of sexual intimacy and bondage

Postby SquarePants » Sat Jun 06, 2015 12:42 pm

If he is claiming to have low testosterone, he can always get his blood levels checked. Has he done this?

User avatar
C_Brown
Fell out of ...
Posts: 1322
Joined: Fri Jun 07, 2013 6:08 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): August 17th, 1984
Gender: Male

Re: lack of sexual intimacy and bondage

Postby C_Brown » Sun Jun 07, 2015 2:07 pm

If a person finds a certain sexual act enjoyable, as long as it is not sin that is fine, but if that becomes the only way they can feel pleasure than that is a problem. Rather than think of this as rejection/betrayal and feeling hurt, think of this as something more like an illness and have compassion on his condition. He needs some help to get past this fetish and open up to a healthier sexual relationship. Can you lovingly encourage him to get counseling as a couple on this for the sake of your marriage? If he won't go, you should go yourself.
So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing -- Yvaine (in the movie Stardust)

mamame
Pay no attention to the folks behind the curtain.
Pay no attention to the folks behind the curtain.
Posts: 7580
Joined: Sat Sep 17, 2005 1:16 pm

Re: lack of sexual intimacy and bondage

Postby mamame » Sun Jun 07, 2015 7:33 pm

athenaspell wrote:I also discovered back in October of last year that he was trying to seek sexual play outside of our marriage.


This needs to be dealt with before anything else. What have you done to address this issue?


Return to “Other Sexual Changes, Challenges & Difficulties”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users