Please Help! Can't stay awake for sex!

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Confused
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Please Help! Can't stay awake for sex!

Postby Confused » Tue Mar 29, 2016 9:07 am

Help Please!!! I can't stay awake.
This is an ongoing problem of at least 15 years. I can't stay awake for intamacy or sex! It's not that I'm not in the mood. I love sex and went it all the time. But when it comes to intamacy and sex at night I can't stay awake. I have tried everything from staying up to energy drinks to vitamins to herbs. Even going to the Dr many times. Had blood work done several times and get told I'm fine, tests come back normal.

It is causing problems in our marriage. My husband use to touch me all the time. But now it's only when we have sex. I miss his touch and caressing. He likes sex at night when he is awake because he works nights. And I like it earlier when I'm up and awake. Earlier nights are hard because we have 4 teens at home that don't seem to go to bed. So that adds to the conflict. Over the last year or so it's gotten so bad that when I do fall asleep I get the silent treatment for several days. And he distances himself from me. It's hard. Then to make matters worse he has started having issues with early ejaculation if I touch him or Ed then he is angry due to his body not working the way he wants. And he withdraws that much more from me. I have tried different techniques and herbs with him too. I don't know what to do anymore. I want our marriage back the way it use to be. I miss him and his touch.

Thank You for your help.

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Txtwinmom
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Re: Please Help!!! Can't...

Postby Txtwinmom » Tue Mar 29, 2016 9:53 am

I have to say I'm a bit confused too. How active are you during intimacy? Are the lights on in the room? Do you always make love the same way all the time? What positions have you tried? I would think if you are on top it would be kind of difficult to fall asleep, you would be doing most of the work. Give us a bit more information so we know what we are dealing with here.
"Sex is not the answer, Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer!". Swami X

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SLS
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Re: Please Help!!! Can't...

Postby SLS » Tue Mar 29, 2016 10:32 am

You say that your husband works nights. Could y'all try having sex in the morning when he gets back from work?

Confused wrote:Earlier nights are hard because we have 4 teens at home that don't seem to go to bed. So that adds to the conflict.


You don't have to wait until the teens go to bed in order to have some intimacy. At that age they should be old enough to understand what y'all are doing and they should be happy to leave you guys alone. Just tell them you are having one-on-one time and to not disturb you unless there is an emergency, they'll get the message.

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Vanna
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Re: Please Help! Can't stay awake for sex!

Postby Vanna » Tue Mar 29, 2016 4:54 pm

You might think about getting a sleep study done, and see if the pronounced exhaustion is due to sleep problems. It cause cause an array of issues that you wouldn't think were remotely related, and problems are more common than you'd think.

Hubby had issues like falling asleep during sex and os, we made some changes to his sleep habits, and they cleared up.

It can be hard not to take it personal when a spouse falls asleep during intimacy, but it's not like they mean it personally. Hubby hated it as much as I did. It helped us look into it more.
After 28 years and six kids, through the good and bad, by the grace of God, things keep getting better and better. ::wed

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MyWifesMan
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Re: Please Help! Can't stay awake for sex!

Postby MyWifesMan » Tue Mar 29, 2016 5:51 pm

You might think about getting a sleep study done, and see if the pronounced exhaustion is due to sleep problems.


Copy THAT! Before my sleep apnea was diagnosed, I could sometimes nod for a second while driving a car in daylight. Yeah, very scary! So, as that is possible, I can certainly see, with slow sexual foreplay or one's spouse doing the majority of the movements, it's possible - especially at night, after a long day. With SA, you are never truly rested. And you really don't realize how tired you are until you begin to respond to CPAP machine therapy.

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jokerman
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Re: Please Help! Can't stay awake for sex!

Postby jokerman » Tue Mar 29, 2016 7:46 pm

There are people who are immensely tired at 11 pm, and others who are still quite energetic at that hour. Often, they are married to each other. It could be a physical issue like the others have mentioned, or it could simply be two people with different internal clocks which is compounded by work schedules that don't match. Hopefully you can continue talking things over and come up with a compromise time that works for both of you.


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