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Book to overcome sexual hangups

Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2017 2:45 pm
by love2
I am looking for a Bible study for couples or for men designed to help overcome sexual hangups/inhibitions, does anyone have any suggestions?

I am not looking for a study geared towards women.

Over the years, husband had made some interesting comments.
One was that he sincerely believed that once you reach a certain age in a marriage you stop having sex. I told him I didn't plan to reach a certain age and stop having sex. We talked through it and I think we are on the same page. Also husband found dad's Viagra in the medicine cabinet so he knows his parents haven't reached the age where they stopped having sex.

Along similar lines, husband also thought that you reach a point in spiritual maturity where you stop having sex or you grow spiritually to the point where sex doesn't really matter that much. We also talked through that and as far as I know he doesnt believe that anymore.

At any rate, both of these former beliefs seem very shame-based so i suspect he may have other shame-based beliefs about sex and sexuality that are deeply buried so I am looking for a Bible study, book or strategy to combat the lies.

Thanks for your suggestions.

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Re: Book to overcome sexual hangups

Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2017 3:20 pm
by seeking perspective
You might take a look at Intimacy Ignited by Dillow and Pintus. It is for couples and is based on Song of Solomon. I don't know that it would help specifically with hangups, but it might help you and your husband establish a shared understanding of God's design for sex in marriage.

Re: Book to overcome sexual hangups

Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2017 3:52 pm
by tjw
It's not a bible study, but I have been saying to myself I'm going to buy this book: Daring Greatly, by Dr. Brene Brown.

Some quotes from Dr Brown:
http://cathytaughinbaugh.com/guilt-sham ... ene-brown/

Dr Brown has also published her "Ted" talks on you tube:
https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_o ... anguage=en
https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_l ... g_to_shame

Re: RE: Re: Book to overcome sexual hangups

Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2017 4:05 pm
by love2
Thanks SC - it does look like Dillow is against anal sex for 'medical reasons' although I am not sure if this comes up in her book

Re: RE: Re: Book to overcome sexual hangups

Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2017 4:09 pm
by love2
tjw wrote:Some quotes from Dr Brown: http://cathytaughinbaugh.com/guilt-sham ... ene-brown/

This is interesting - seems to cover shame and a lot of other emotional issues. I'm not sure how receptive husband would be to working through it though. We are in such a strange place in our marriage, honestly, with so much going on outside the scope of sexual issues. For example, we are trying to work our way through emotional and verbal abuse cycles.

Re: RE: Re: Book to overcome sexual hangups

Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2017 7:09 pm
by seeking perspective
It sounds to me like your husband needs something that is less about specific acts and more about sex as a holy and healthy thing throughout the lifetime of a marriage.

I don't know if anal sex is addressed in Intimacy Ignited. Quite frankly, it's going to be hard to find any Christian sex book that says anal sex is okay, although many will at least say that it isn't a sin. I recommend that you work on general principles first, and then look for ways to address specific issues.

Re: Book to overcome sexual hangups

Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2017 7:15 pm
by love2
I agree - might take a look at intimacy ignited