ANONYMITY, ABUSE, and DRIFTING

[BackSpoon]

As a standard for "not being anonymous" on the boards, we would include sharing any pictures in links to photo hosting sites or any other kind of web posting. If you've met someone from the board in person, you are no longer anonymous. If you mention that you have a relationship with someone off the board (IM's, chat, private emails), we will assume that you are no longer anonymous.

Couple clarifications please:

1. Are married couples here considered not anonymous because they know each other? (not in the biblical sense )
Answer: As this is a precaution to prevent two people who aren't married picturing anything inappropriate, they could still be considered anonymous.

2. SIT told me about this place. I've known her online only. We met in a yahoo mom's group. We have had discussions via email and shared some family photos. Is that enough to classify me not anonymous? She also knows approximately where I live (though far from ya'll) and my real name. Just curious. Higher modification wouldn't really bother me because I don't think I post graphically.
Answer: Yes, that would make you not anonymous. But as you said, this would only apply to any kind of graphic posts, not to general moderation.

3. Would everyone that you know was invited by a friend/family here be assumed non-anonymous?
Answer: If a new person joined and said, "I was invited by Kay at our women's Bible study," and was readily able to identify you, then neither of you would be considered anonymous. However, if you mention the board in passing and they don't know who you are and you don't know them in the context of the board, then you would still be considered anonymous.

[plainsofabraham]

without going through the 5 pages of this thread, how do the mods know if there are IRL relationships between TMBers?

Answer: Generally people will mention something like this on the boards. The mods are not going digging for this information, however if you mention that you talked to so and so on the phone or met thus and such last week, you'll go on the not anonymous list. But as sheila said, this simply means that your posts are likely to be watched a little more closely in sexually explicit threads and if you cross the line, your post will be returned for editing.

[Paul B]

Do we have to babysit each weaker brother/sister in this area?

I would not call it babysitting, but we cerainly are called to make a real effort to not cause the weaker brother or sister to stumble.

Perhaps the OG gets to make the call.

Get to? Seems to me the OG is required to do that.

<>< Paul

[MamaTo4247]

I think the graphic "how to" posts are unnecessary and border line on soft porn. My suggestion is that if someone needs "how to" advice they should receive responses in PM rather then in public.

I would disagree with this. There are a LOT of people who visit the site and never post. Certainly some are here for seedy reasons, but my guess is that many are here to learn about sex in a Christian context. Getting some ideas on how better to perform oral sex or try out a new position is a good thing and is a big part of what the boards are here for.

And honestly, the more PMs are flying back and forth, the less anonymous people feel like they need to be. The important thing, IMO, is to make your graphic posts less "soft porn-like" simply by using the third person and using more clinical terms.

What people don't realize is that sex has nothing to do with technique and everything to do with relationship and your heart, we should be discussing those things in a biblical context, not what happened last night in someones bed.

The thing is, sex has SOMETHING to do with technique. Certainly the relationship is important to make sex gooooooood, but there are definitely things that feel good and things that don't feel so good, regardless of how right the relationship is. And part of what makes this website unique is that it recognizes that there is more to the sexual relationship than just the technique AND more than just the "outside the bedroom" relationship. Most sites tend to focus on one or the other, and this recognizes that both are important to a truly healthy sex life.

~Alise

[Dale]

I'm sure it was already addressed in the large slew of replies; however, I'm new and work 40 hours a week... don't really feel like sifting through ancient posts for my answer. :3

Are first names alone a no-no?

First names are fine. There are several on the boards who use them (including myself and Paul, the owner!). Just don't add the last name and you'll be okay!

Dale

[Dale]

There is some technical reason why this happens (Paul B would be able to explain it fully), but it just underscores why we value anonymity here -- and why we also hold those who publicly identify themselves more accountable for what they post.

Dale
Oversight Group