Why do people come to TMB boards?
People come for all kinds of reasons. There are those who have a minor struggle they are currently going through. There are those who have been dealing with sin by one or both spouses. There are those who have been in years of refusal by their spouse or by themselves. There are those who have been abused and are struggling. There are those who come to share advice. There are those who have an agenda (see "One-Trick Pony"). As with any communication, it's important to consider the background of those who are here.
- Those who say (or said) no
- Special Forum Rule: This is not a place for condemnation, judgment, or correction. This is a place to vent, to share, and to heal. Those who are "refused" should not post here.
- Many of those who post in this section have dealt with unimaginable things. Those things do not make their refusal justified, but it does make it understandable. For those who are refused, it's best to let those who have said no address questions. There are many on TMB who have dealt with the pain these people endure/endured and will guide them into understanding that their pain isn't cause to repay evil for evil.
- Sexually Refused
- Special Forum Rule: This section is for those who are refused. This section is NOT for a debate about if refusal is wrong. This is not a place for those who say no to argue their case.
- The rule states that this is not a place for those who say no to argue their case. The implication here is that those who are currently saying no must be careful with posting here. There are many who post in this section who have endured the spouse--wife or husband--who refuses or refused for years. In many cases, the refused made every effort to bless their spouse emotionally, spiritually, and every other way. This is not merely a group that want selfish sex. There are countless people in this group who have done everything and been rejected at all costs.
The stereotypes of men want sex and women want emotional connection do not always work here. Stereotypes are good and bad. Stereotypes exist because we identify a commonality in a majority of cases. There are always exceptions. In fact, there may be far more exceptions than one thinks. Additionally, all weaknesses can turn into one of two things depending on the heart of the individual: A Strength or Sin. A weakness becomes a strength when one recognizes it as a weakness, gives it to God, and uses the effects of the weakness in a godly way. A weakness becomes a sin when one ignores the weakness and falls for the "sin that so easily besets us".