Breastfeeding and sex drive

How do pregnancy and the first year after birth impact a couples sexuality?
User avatar
HisLadybug
Blanket on a secluded beach!
Posts: 1884
Joined: Sat Sep 03, 2005 10:18 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): June 11th, 2006
Gender: Female
Location: West Coast

Breastfeeding and sex drive

Postby HisLadybug » Thu Feb 07, 2013 11:04 am

Can you ladies tell me if this is normal?

DS is 8 months. He LOVES to nurse. I had hoped by this time he would be taking some table food, but he's not really. He doesn't like baby food. He will taste our "grown up" food but that's about it. We are always offering him food in hopes he'll find something he likes.

He still nurses every 3-4 hours, around the clock. I love it and I know it won't last forever, but my sex drive is in the tank.

I don't even have the desire to O anymore. :( I think I've had 2 orgasms since he was born. One I gave myself and one from DH. Most of the time when we're ML I'm like, "Gah, it's too much work."

I miss my desire. Do y'all think it will come back when DS takes more table food?
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock and sweet you roll
lost for you
I'm so lost for you
-Dave Matthews band

User avatar
gulfcoastgal1
King bed
Posts: 296
Joined: Tue Jul 26, 2011 8:58 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): July 10th, 1996
Gender: Female
Location: On the dance floor

Re: Breastfeeding and sex drive

Postby gulfcoastgal1 » Thu Feb 07, 2013 11:27 am

Neither of my kids were keen on store bought baby food. They wanted to eat off our plates. Our eldest would sneak food if left within reach. They also had upper and lower teeth early as well...my theory on why they preferred table food. :wink: I don't know if there will be a correlation for you, but sex for me was better after I weaned (@1 yr old). I don't think this changed my drive per se, but it definitely enhanced intimacy. For one thing, we actually had more time and energy to do it. :D
Peace and Disco

TN_Wife
King bed
Posts: 412
Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2012 8:47 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): August 1st, 2005
Gender: Female

Re: Breastfeeding and sex drive

Postby TN_Wife » Thu Feb 07, 2013 11:32 am

Yes, probably little by little as your child takes less and less milk from you. I think it is directly related to how much prolactin is in your system, which is based on how much milk you are producing. If you are anything like me, my drive came back 75% after my period returned (coincided with me stopping pumping and son getting cow's milk during the day at daycare, so he was only nursing 2 or 3 times a day at that point) then back to 100% when I finally weaned at 16 months. If he continues to feed as frequently as you are describing, it might be a while though.

User avatar
tentsofpurple
King bed
Posts: 695
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2012 11:11 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 4th, 2004
Gender: Female

Re: Breastfeeding and sex drive

Postby tentsofpurple » Thu Feb 07, 2013 12:18 pm

My drive (and natural lubrication) go back to normal after I get my first post partum periods back. (usually between 7 and 9 months for me). I still had the desire before that but it was harder to get my body to respond (become aroused). I'm still nursing my youngest (at 20 months old) but only once or twice a day and my drive and physical reactions are back to normal now.
Last edited by tentsofpurple on Thu Feb 07, 2013 1:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

livinginblurredlines

Re: Breastfeeding and sex drive

Postby livinginblurredlines » Thu Feb 07, 2013 12:24 pm

I'm the opposite this time around. Pregnancy and for several months post partum I was ON FIRE!!!! My drive was through the roof and I could have 6 HUGE O's in one day (self given since hubby was denying at the time.) As my breast milk started to wane (long story, but I physiologically cannot provide enough breast milk for my babies unless I feed them approximately every hour to hour and a half around the clock and they were all earlier baby food eaters) my libido has gone through ebbs and flows of ok to tanked. Although, I cannot tell for sure if this has to do completely with the baby hormones or if hubby and I's marriage bed ebbs and flows (or waxes and wanes) has anything to do with it. Right now, my libido is ok and O's are difficult to achieve. I am almost virtually done breast feeding at this point (almost 9 months PP), so I hope as my hormones start getting back to non-pregnant, non-breastfeeding status, my libido will find a happy place. I'm also hoping as my marriage bed hopefully continues to slowly improve, that I'll find a respectable level of "FIRE!" I don't want to be ON FIRE like I was before unless hubby can keep up with me, which would be a miracle! LOL!

User avatar
HisLadybug
Blanket on a secluded beach!
Posts: 1884
Joined: Sat Sep 03, 2005 10:18 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): June 11th, 2006
Gender: Female
Location: West Coast

Re: Breastfeeding and sex drive

Postby HisLadybug » Thu Feb 07, 2013 12:30 pm

Forgot to mention that my cycles show no sign of returning. I guess this is normal. I just miss feeling randy. 8)
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock and sweet you roll
lost for you
I'm so lost for you
-Dave Matthews band

Milesgirl2011
Double
Posts: 58
Joined: Thu Oct 18, 2012 8:59 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): September 10th, 2011
Gender: Female

Re: Breastfeeding and sex drive

Postby Milesgirl2011 » Thu Feb 07, 2013 2:06 pm

The female body will hinder sexual pleasure in most cases while breasfeeding. It is our bodies way of trying to prevent pregnancy while feeding one child. Once you wean it should come back full force. Amazing how our bodies work!

User avatar
BHF
King bed
Posts: 320
Joined: Tue Mar 24, 2009 3:04 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): October 22nd, 2011
Gender: Female

Re: Breastfeeding and sex drive

Postby BHF » Thu Feb 07, 2013 10:16 pm

6 months post partum today.Breastfeeding all night and day. has three teaspoons of baby cereal at night- refuses more. Also does not like baby food, and prefers to grab what's on our plates.

I'm aiming to breast feed for a year. Libido is very low . I'm very intentional about ml. I do orgasm every time though its just the desire not there.
My cycle returned once when she was six weeks old,since then nothing.

I'm also hoping it comes back. I firmly believe that we are doing our best in all respects. Thinking of you.

From one new SAHM to another

TN_Wife
King bed
Posts: 412
Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2012 8:47 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): August 1st, 2005
Gender: Female

Re: Breastfeeding and sex drive

Postby TN_Wife » Fri Feb 08, 2013 7:57 am

BHF wrote:

My cycle returned once when she was six weeks old,since then nothing.



I have had the same thing happen with both of mine. It was much lighter than a regular period for me. I did some google-ing (haha) and found out from a lactation board that it is called a "six week bleed", it is relatively common, and it was not actually a period.

User avatar
beautyfromashes
Under the stars
Posts: 3537
Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:21 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 20th, 2004
Gender: Female

Re: Breastfeeding and sex drive

Postby beautyfromashes » Fri Feb 08, 2013 2:17 pm

HLB, your little guy sounds just like my youngest. He's almost a year old, and I've finally gotten him down to just nursing at night and naptime. At 8-9 months, he was still nursing every few hours. My drive bottomed out too. About a month ago, it's like a switch was flipped and I've got my mojo back! I feel so much more like myself!
Deep intimacy always requires work, acceptance, and forgiveness. Lots of it. ~~ Linda Dillow

User avatar
TilWeHaveFaces
Under the stars
Posts: 2860
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 2:26 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): May 8th, 1999
Gender: Male
Location: St. Anne's-on-the-hill, standing outside the garden gate.

Re: Breastfeeding and sex drive

Postby TilWeHaveFaces » Fri Feb 08, 2013 2:42 pm

We're in this boat too -- DW breastfeeding and I can deduce that her drive (already minimal) is at an all-time low. So I've taken the opportunity to put our sex life on the shelf for a little while for discussion, prayer and study about it... the goal being able to restart without sex again being the frontlines of battle. Wish us luck...

User avatar
facetoface
California King
Posts: 789
Joined: Wed Jul 07, 2004 9:23 pm

Re: Breastfeeding and sex drive

Postby facetoface » Sun Feb 10, 2013 2:46 pm

My lactation consultant explained to me that the hormones involved in breastfeeding, make having an orgasm more difficult. So, what she always suggested was to try and schedule sex just before the next breastfeeding session rather than just after breastfeeding. The goal is to have as much space as possible between breastfeeding and (attempted) orgasm as that will give you the best chance at success.

This might help.

I breastfed all of mine for over a year (some went to 2 years) and none started food early. It is perfectly fine for a 6 month old to not want anything beside breastmilk/formula. Interest/hunger for table food will come. Just might happen on a different schedule than you or your doctor had in mind.
Last edited by facetoface on Sun Aug 23, 2015 5:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Juan
Twin size
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed May 07, 2014 7:55 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): June 8th, 1978
Gender: Male

Re: Breastfeeding and sex drive

Postby Juan » Wed May 21, 2014 6:18 pm

My DW and I had our 3rd child 3 months ago. He's a delight. But something different about postpartum with this baby is that my DW has no sex drive. I was reading around absolutely frustrated as to what the issue was (we've talked about it) and I was thinking it was just exhaustion from newborn baby stuff--and that's probably a big factor if not the biggest. However, with our first two it wasn't quite like this.

After reading this thread a light bulb went off: DS's a much bigger breast feeder than our other two. This thread has given me some peace of mind. Thanks for your helpful posts. May God bless you all.


Return to “Pregnancy and Postpartum”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users