Leaving it up to God with conception

How do pregnancy and the first year after birth impact a couples sexuality?
The_drumr
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Leaving it up to God with conception

Postby The_drumr » Fri Jul 31, 2015 11:07 am

My wife and I have finally decided that she discontinue BC and we're going to leave it up to God whether or not she gets pregnant. We fully believe this is now the right thing for us to do since He is the one primarily responsible for bringing us together. Some couples stress about having a baby and fuss over this and fuss over that. chart this and chart that. Take temps, etc. Demand intercourse within that magic window of time that ovulation occurs. DW and I agreed to not stress over it. If it happens it happens. If not, then we are fine with it too. If God wants us to have a baby together He will allow us to have one. We enjoy a fairly active sex life, maybe 4-6 times average a week. Thing here is, DW is 47. I am 41. Her ob/gyn said she still might have a few years left and that she is healthy enough to get pregnant. Yes, we are aware of later life pregnancies with the risks of chromosone issues, risks to the female during pregnancy, and even the increase of chances of miscarriages. Like I said, we're going to leave it up to God for this one. Our faith is also very strong in general. I was wondering if there have been any other couples on here that are like us and have you succeeded in getting pregnant? Just would like some further insight. Thanks gang.

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Re: Leaving it up to God with conception

Postby John143 » Fri Jul 31, 2015 12:58 pm

Here's a ray of hope for you guys. The doctors once told us that there was very little chance of having more kids. We decided to stop "trying" and leave it up to God. Two months later we were pregnant with our third child.

Make sure both of you are eating healthy. Take high quality vitamins like Shaklee, and a high quality Magnesium like this one, and leave the rest up to Him.
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Re: Leaving it up to God with conception

Postby The_drumr » Fri Jul 31, 2015 1:58 pm

Thank you for your kind words, sir. To be honest, it took me a better part of my 41 years to finally learn to give it up and let God handle it. When I finally did, I started dating the right woman (can't say "met"...for I've known her for close to 10 years prior to our first official date!), a year later she didn't hesitate to say yes when I popped the question, and here we are 3 years later talking about having kids and realizing the reality of her age may not yield any more offspring. He indeed does provide and assists us in meeting the challenges we face in our lives. You know, we both have enough stress in our lives with our respective occupations...we don't need any more!

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Re: Leaving it up to God with conception

Postby IM_a_Farmwife » Fri Jul 31, 2015 5:27 pm

My girlfriend just gave birth to a healthy baby girl. She is 48. It's God's timing, not ours. I took years to get pregnant. Apparently we were too active. Sex everyday doesn't necessarily mean you will conceive. It wasn't until my doctor told us to hold off before ovulation then do it once during the time frame of ripeness. It worked like a charm, both times. Some of our best ever sex was when we were seriously trying to conceive. Enjoy!

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Re: Leaving it up to God with conception

Postby The_drumr » Tue Aug 04, 2015 4:22 am

^^^ Thank you for the encouraging news. DW and I enjoy sex almost every day. Like I said, we are just going to go with the flow and have sex for our enjoyment of it, and if a by-product of it is her getting pregnant then it's God's will that He gives us a baby. As nature intended! And she might be too old to conceive naturally, I don't know. She's coming up on the time where her IUD will expire and we've been discussing options but she really doesn't want to deal with any more side effects of BC. If anyone else has any encouraging news to add here, please do so!

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Re: Leaving it up to God with conception

Postby C_Brown » Tue Aug 04, 2015 12:18 pm

God certainly does have a hand in it, and I agree that there are times to just leave it all up to Him, but I wouldn't recommend that as a blanket strategy for everybody. God gave us minds and he expects us to use them, we have some responsibility for how we use our procreative powers including decisions about how many children to have and when to have them. We may get overruled but that doesn't mean we should abdicate all responsibility over it all the time.
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Re: Leaving it up to God with conception

Postby The_drumr » Thu Aug 06, 2015 3:21 am

True, and I understand where you are coming from. We are 3+ years into our marriage and while my wife is in the age range where births are less (not impossible...but less) we figured that it would be a blessing if we can have one but certainly not stress and obsess about it. We certainly have done a lot of talking about it.

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Re: Leaving it up to God with conception

Postby jediwill83 » Sat Aug 08, 2015 2:02 pm

I'm on my second marriage and past three years with my current marriage with no kids.My first wife I was married for 7.5 years but we were together for 11...no kids.She cheated on me and we split up and low and behold WHAM she gets pregnant...huge blow to my self esteem as a man.I've taken a home male fertility test but it only measures sperm count and not motility and morphology.The count is supposedly good. I just have about given up on having kids.

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Re: Leaving it up to God with conception

Postby Job29Man » Sat Aug 08, 2015 6:30 pm

Dearest Mr and Mrs Drumr,

May the LORD grant you both the desires of your hearts. May your wife's womb be fruitful and blessed. May God open Mrs Drumr's womb, and may He give you a baby who is healthy and vigorous. May the baby become a strong and faithful believer in the LORD Jesus, and a true disciple of Christ in every way. May your house be filled with the laughter of children. May your children and your children's children gather around your table like Olive Trees planted by a river. May the world become a better place because you brought children into it.

May Shalom be upon your house.

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Re: Leaving it up to God with conception

Postby The_drumr » Tue Aug 11, 2015 3:11 am

jediwill83 wrote:I'm on my second marriage and past three years with my current marriage with no kids.My first wife I was married for 7.5 years but we were together for 11...no kids.She cheated on me and we split up and low and behold WHAM she gets pregnant...huge blow to my self esteem as a man.I've taken a home male fertility test but it only measures sperm count and not motility and morphology.The count is supposedly good. I just have about given up on having kids.


I am sorry to hear that. Please do not give up. I was the same way with getting married, as I was really frustrated with meeting too many who were wrong for me and not Ms. Right. I prayed to God about it, that He would give me the wisdom to select someone who is right for me. Prayed about it then turned it over to Him and went on about my life. Lo and behold a few years later, fell in love with someone who I'd known casually over a 10 year period prior and now life is perfect in that regard. As you and I well know, things happen on God's timing, not ours. Pray about it, give it to God to handle it, and go about your life...whatever you do just don't give up.

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Re: Leaving it up to God with conception

Postby The_drumr » Tue Aug 11, 2015 3:13 am

Job29Man wrote:Dearest Mr and Mrs Drumr,

May the LORD grant you both the desires of your hearts. May your wife's womb be fruitful and blessed. May God open Mrs Drumr's womb, and may He give you a baby who is healthy and vigorous. May the baby become a strong and faithful believer in the LORD Jesus, and a true disciple of Christ in every way. May your house be filled with the laughter of children. May your children and your children's children gather around your table like Olive Trees planted by a river. May the world become a better place because you brought children into it.

May Shalom be upon your house.

Job29Man and Sarah
Parents of 10 blessings


Thank you, that was wonderfully written. I appreciate the kind thoughts and support.

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Re: Leaving it up to God with conception

Postby FoxluvsBunny » Sun Aug 16, 2015 3:19 pm

C_Brown wrote:God certainly does have a hand in it, and I agree that there are times to just leave it all up to Him, but I wouldn't recommend that as a blanket strategy for everybody. God gave us minds and he expects us to use them, we have some responsibility for how we use our procreative powers including decisions about how many children to have and when to have them. We may get overruled but that doesn't mean we should abdicate all responsibility over it all the time.


I agree so much with this statement. IMHO, God is in control of reproduction, and can of course override our efforts, but He gave us minds to plan our steps (But of course we make our plans but the Lord determines our steps ultimately) and this is true with preventing and trying to get pregnant! Also He gave doctors wisdom for helping with infertility (Which will likely be an issue for us as I have an endocrine condition and I will likely need medication in order to have a healthy pregnancy in a few years).

But, I think you guys are in a great place surrendering conception to the very creator and giver of life! No matter your age or the situation, He is able to make your wife's womb fruitful. I do believe that the Lord uses doctors, so possibly (if you are so convicted), you may not need to necessarily be completely closed to this... but God will provide. I know of a few couples who were undergoing fertility treatments and God provided only after they stopped them and surrendered it to Him (one of these couples had just adopted twins after a 3 year struggle with infertility). God will and Can provided for you guys in so many ways. Just keep surrendering the situation in prayer and be open to His direction in the next steps whatever they may be... He will provide and create your family in a way that only He can imagine :)
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Re: Leaving it up to God with conception

Postby The_drumr » Mon Aug 17, 2015 2:22 pm

^^^ Very well said! This is the type of attitude we are taking. I think that fertility treatments are sort of going against what God has in mind for you. We're just going to go with the flow and whatever happens will happen. My wife did mention adoption and while I am not against adoption (actually I think its a great idea), I am against adoption for us. Being that if she does get pregnant, this will be my first child and I'd like to have the experience of fathering a child the way nature intended.

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Re: Leaving it up to God with conception

Postby madcar16 » Wed Aug 19, 2015 5:14 pm

Coming out of lurking to comment on this. My husband and I have been married for 9 years in December. We have slowly come to this conviction in our marriage. We are to trust God with ALL areas of our lives, including our fertility. We have been blessed with 4 children on earth so far, and 3 in heaven. I just found out yesterday I'm expecting # 5 (or # 8 depending on how you look at it). We count ourselves extremely blessed. Children are the only blessing we say "no" to in our culture. They have ALL been a blessing to us, no matter how long they are with us. I'm encouraged to see others enjoying their marriages and accepting the blessings God gives, if He chooses. There is great freedom and blessing in enjoying what God has naturally created us for. I echo Job's prayer for you, as he said it much better than I could :D

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Re: Leaving it up to God with conception

Postby girliegirl511 » Thu Aug 20, 2015 10:32 am

I saw drumr's post in adoption. I do realize that adoptions isn't for everyone. But here's a little story. My parents couldn't have children for 10 years, and Dad was totally against adoption...reasons were: cost(even in 1990), child in a foreign country, and he wasn't sure he could love and raise a child that wasn't his biologically. Well God got a hold of him, and broke my Dad's heart for what breaks His. I was adopted from Eastern Europe, they adopted 3 years later domestically. And then...BAM had 4 kids biologically!! If my Dad hadn't listened to God's calling, I would be on the streets probably as a prostitute. But by God's grace I live in the great USA!! AND, the country I was adopted from, closed 1 week after I came home, all God!!

I don't want to hijack this thread. But it's a story to have tucked away. And adoption may not be in God's plan for your family, I realize that. I just wanted to share my story, my Dad's story who was for adoption, but not for himself. Praying ya'll!!

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Re: Leaving it up to God with conception

Postby FoxluvsBunny » Thu Aug 20, 2015 6:41 pm

Girliegirl- what a beautiful story! wow, God is good
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Re: Leaving it up to God with conception

Postby The_drumr » Fri Aug 28, 2015 3:53 am

Well, my wife made an appt yesterday with her ob/gyn for early next month to have her IUD removed. We're going to do this. If it happens it happens. If not that we're cool with it as well. Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement. My wife and I are deeply rooted in our faith and trust God because He is the real reason why we are married.


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