Frustrated.....

How do pregnancy and the first year after birth impact a couples sexuality?
FaithSeeker48
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Frustrated.....

Postby FaithSeeker48 » Sun Mar 27, 2016 12:27 pm

So.....

This time last year was very hard for DH and I. We lost our Sarah to stillbirth the first week of April at 21 weeks. This whole year has been hard...

Fast forward to now.....
We are pregnant again and at about 20 weeks. :) This pregnancy has been a lot better, I haven't had any complications. Had surgery about 2 weeks ago to have a cerclage put in. I was in pain for a few days afterwards but this little guy is worth it. (It's a boy!)

Now for the frustrating part....my sex drive is through the roof! I had a good one before, I couldn't go more than 5 days without it. Now I want him way more, but can't do a darn thing about it!
Dr has put me on pelvic and home rest, I can't even drive and sex is a no no. So my body, I guess, is finding an outlet in the form of sexual dreams (with orgasms). The dreams are about myself and DH, very good, but when I realize what happened after I wake up, it scares and frustrates me. I O everytime.

I fear it could cause complications and make things worse. It's frustrating because I want enjoy my DH and can't, which causes the dreams...... it's been like this for about 2 weeks now and it stinks!

Anyone ever dealt with this or something similar? Any advice? We could also use your prayers for a healthy baby and a safe delivery at full term.

Thanks!
Last edited by FaithSeeker48 on Sun Mar 27, 2016 1:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Vanna
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Re: Frustrated.....

Postby Vanna » Sun Mar 27, 2016 12:40 pm

Is the cerclage just precautionary or have you been spotting or contracting?

Orgasms mostly affect the surrounding, blood filled clitoral bodies which are closer to the front pubic bone than the actual uterus. When labor is threatening, it's the banging of penis against the cervix that could potentially aggravate contraction activities. It's pretty rare that it bother an uneventful pregnancy, but one suffering from placenta previa or premature dilation might be aggravated.

So, any minor muscle tremors from non-penetrative orgasm will not dilate you. Orgasms feel big, but on the uterine Richter scale, they barely register. Baby is fine.
After 28 years and six kids, through the good and bad, by the grace of God, things keep getting better and better. ::wed

FaithSeeker48
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Re: Frustrated.....

Postby FaithSeeker48 » Sun Mar 27, 2016 12:59 pm

It's a precautionary cerclage, I was diagnosed with an incompetent cervix after we lost Sarah last year.

Last year I had spotting and bleeds from 10 weeks off and on through week 21.

This year, no bleeding or spotting. My specialist is just concerned about premature dilation, which is why she put in the cerclage.

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Re: Frustrated.....

Postby Vanna » Sun Mar 27, 2016 1:08 pm

That's great news! :)

The sleeping orgasm activity is safe, and it's not unusual for pregnancy to cause those from time to time. It's all the increased hormone and expanded blood volume circulating around.
After 28 years and six kids, through the good and bad, by the grace of God, things keep getting better and better. ::wed

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Re: Frustrated.....

Postby seeking perspective » Sun Mar 27, 2016 1:36 pm

I had similar experiences when I was on bedrest years ago. My doctor told me that I should increase my fluid intake the following day (some things in to do with diluting the hormones, maybe?). Ask your doctor if there is a reason for concern and if there is something you can do to minimize any consequences.

Meanwhile, visit sidelines.org. It is an organization that provides support for women in high risk pregnancies. You can get individualized support, and they also have chats now, I think.
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Re: Frustrated.....

Postby FaithSeeker48 » Mon Mar 28, 2016 9:22 am

Thanks for the replies! I have in the last few days increased my fluid intake. I'll just have to deal with making more restroom trips. lol.

I'll be seeing my specialist on Wednesday and will bring it up with her. I'll also be looking into sidelines, I didn't know these resources were there. We also have friends we made through my mil who have been thorough the same hard loss and subsequent high risk pregnancy. This christian couple has been a Godsend for us both as they know exactly what we are going through. We usually talk to them about once a week.

I'm also in counseling weekly, especially as DD's birthday is coming up in a week and half. I miss her so much.

Any other advice is appreciated and please keep us in your prayers. I'll update on Wednesday after seeing my dr.

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Re: Frustrated.....

Postby seeking perspective » Mon Mar 28, 2016 10:14 am

Do people at your church know about your doctor's instructions? When I was put on bedrest, the women of our church made meals for our family for 3 1/2 months, twice a week. If your church does something like that or if there's someone who could put together one one those online care calendars or something, that would be nice for you.

Feel free to PM me. I was placed on bedrest at 20 weeks, when my older son was 2 /2. (This was back in the dark ages before the internet, too.)
You turned my wailing into dancing . . .
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Re: Frustrated.....

Postby FaithSeeker48 » Tue Apr 05, 2016 1:51 pm

Update:
I apologize for taking so long to get back here.

So I went to see my specialist and thanks be to God, everything is going fine. She lifted most of my restrictions, I can drive again and move around the house more freely. I can't be on my feet for more than an hour and half though.

She did put me on extra progesterone in the form of vaginal suppositories. I think she is doing this as precaution just in case I start funneling. The progesterone is supposed to help mucus production, from what she explained.

Seeking,
I do have a good group of Church friends that have been extremely helpful during the last few weeks taking me to Dr appointments, counseling and cooking for us. These same friends surrounded us and supported us this time last year when we lost DD. I couldn't ask for a better group of friends. I hope I'm not put on bed rest later in this pregnancy, but I know they and family will be there for me if I am.

Little guy is 21 weeks today and a very active little booger. DH finally felt him kick last night, I think it's becoming more real for him now. :-)

The first part of this week has kinda stunk. I haven't been sleeping well. It has been 2 days of trigger overload. We live in an city the celebrates the return of the Masters Golf Tournament every year. If you follow golf, you know where it is. Unfortunately, masters week is really hard this year because this is when we lost DD last year, on Friday to be exact. I've already told DH, next year we need to get out of town, I can't even watch the local news because of all the masters talk. I try to pass the time by listening to my favorite christian music and Journaling.

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Re: Frustrated.....

Postby FaithSeeker48 » Tue Apr 05, 2016 1:54 pm

I forgot to add that the increase in my fluid intake has helped a lot! That and being able to move more. :)

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