How should a husband deal with this?

Menopause - how it impacts your health, your sexuality, and your life in general.
User avatar
James186282
Queen bed
Posts: 158
Joined: Mon Jul 18, 2005 4:23 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): September 23rd, 1988
Gender: Male

Re: How should a husband deal with this?

Postby James186282 » Mon Dec 20, 2010 11:25 am

Cancer worries are indeed a good reason to preclude HRT but too many doctors are saying no just because they heard a study about synthetics that make them want to avoid the issue. Or they hate suzane summers! :lol:

User avatar
beekeeper
California King
Posts: 828
Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2005 7:34 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 12th, 1981
Gender: Male
Location: Forests of Maine
Contact:

Re: How should a husband deal with this?

Postby beekeeper » Mon Dec 20, 2010 11:40 am

James186282 wrote:Cancer worries are indeed a good reason to preclude HRT but too many doctors are saying no just because they heard a study about synthetics that make them want to avoid the issue. Or they hate suzane summers! :lol:


From '3 is company'?

I am not aware of what connection there is between '3 is company' and synthetic HRT.

User avatar
Two Hearts
King bed
Posts: 396
Joined: Mon Jun 21, 2010 8:58 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): July 25th, 1986
Gender: Female

Re: How should a husband deal with this?

Postby Two Hearts » Mon Dec 20, 2010 4:51 pm

beekeeper wrote:
James186282 wrote:Cancer worries are indeed a good reason to preclude HRT but too many doctors are saying no just because they heard a study about synthetics that make them want to avoid the issue. Or they hate suzane summers! :lol:


From '3 is company'?

I am not aware of what connection there is between '3 is company' and synthetic HRT.

Beekeeper,
Ms. Somers has been making the rounds on talk shows promoting the books she has written about her experience with bioidentical hormone replacement therapy.

Suzanne Somers' Book

User avatar
beekeeper
California King
Posts: 828
Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2005 7:34 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 12th, 1981
Gender: Male
Location: Forests of Maine
Contact:

Re: How should a husband deal with this?

Postby beekeeper » Mon Dec 20, 2010 5:08 pm

Two Hearts wrote: ... Beekeeper,
Ms. Somers has been making the rounds on talk shows promoting the books she has written about her experience with bioidentical hormone replacement therapy.

Suzanne Somers' Book


Thank you, I had no idea of this.

I think the last time I saw her on TV she was promoting a workout video [or it may have been a weight loss thing] it would have been mid-90s [or earlier].

CLA
Queen bed
Posts: 203
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 2:02 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): January 1st, 1978
Gender: Male

Re: How should a husband deal with this?

Postby CLA » Mon Dec 20, 2010 7:20 pm

James186282 wrote:No HRT for her. Ok... Why? Ask the doctor for specifics. If he/she won't look for a doctor who does communicate and better yet look for an expert in hormone replacement. There is a lot of fear about HRT that I think is confusing.

Vaginal dryness is no fun for her. Being uninterested in sex? Not good for any marriage. HRT solved that and her being totally angry 24:7

My wife also lost her ability to get up and get things done when she went into menopause. I ended up seeking a good HRT doctor and driving her back and forth and doing lots of leg work. Thats what I think your job might be in this case as well!


The current fear of cancer for women who take HRT isn't our concern. She has a history of blood clots. I wasn't surprised at our doc's recent answer. We have heard the same thing before. She even had side effects prior to the blood clots when she tried taking birth control pills when we first got married.
If anyone knows of a doc anywhere in the country who thinks that a woman with a history of blood clots (deep vein thrombosis in our case) should take HRT for sexual problems let me know and I will make an appointment. Seriously.

JP-4
Twin size
Posts: 10
Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2006 12:56 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): November 12th, 1960
Gender: Male

Re: How should a husband deal with this?

Postby JP-4 » Mon Dec 20, 2010 8:18 pm

After my wife went through menopause,like in her late sixties, she began to complain about vagina pain and I was clueless. Her next visit to her Ob doctor he prescribed Premarin a (conjugated estrogens) a vaginal cream. We don't use it on a regular basis but it delt with the pain. My suggestion would check this out for a possible solution.

User avatar
James186282
Queen bed
Posts: 158
Joined: Mon Jul 18, 2005 4:23 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): September 23rd, 1988
Gender: Male

Re: How should a husband deal with this?

Postby James186282 » Tue Jan 04, 2011 7:45 am

I've heard many reasons not to do HRT (And many to do it as well) I know that being on Testosterone (me) raises my red blood cell count but?? I'm not expert enough to understand if thats what your talking about? I've been kind of uptight myself about the synthetic versus human identical hormone question. In short I think how can "human" hormones not be a better choice then synthetics? But I'm no expert. Just trying to use my "horse" sense (a joke)

I think its always good to ask a doctor who really does HRT to spell out the whys and why nots as well as the risks and what you can or can't do to avoid them. Not to sound like Miss Summers too much but I would read as much as I could (Including her book) and seek out a doctor who does Bio Identical hormones.

In our experience Vaginal bio identical creams are very useful in helping with lubrication and in delivery of the hormones. Without sounding like a shill I think its of great value to have some water based lubricant for getting intimate handy. Menopause or not its no fun for your DW to be dry.

And for what this is worth the mental health (like) aspects of HRT are at least AS important as any physical considerations. My wife went from being just 100% angry and really unhappy to being back to normal on HRT. She was finding it very hard to function at all without HRT and I ended up doing a lot of legwork, looking up things, reading about menopause and so forth. Mental clarity seems (In our case) to be tied to hormones.

There are many our there but the one that is the least mess and works well for us is this stuff.
http://davryan.com/

User avatar
Paul B
Pay no attention to the folks behind the curtain.
Pay no attention to the folks behind the curtain.
Posts: 2067
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2004 5:10 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): January 27th, 1985
Gender: Male
Location: The Inland Empire - north of Spokane, south of Canada
Contact:

Re: How should a husband deal with this?

Postby Paul B » Wed Jan 05, 2011 11:45 am

CLA wrote:I still have a strong desire for PIV IC for more than a minute or two.

How about the next best thing? How about Pseudocourse?

The man lies on his back, legs together. The woman is above as if they were going to have intercourse with her on top. His penis is pushed against his body pointing towards his chin, so that the underside is facing up. The woman lowers herself so that his penis comes into contact with her vulva, between her outer lips. She then either pushes against him (as if thrusting), or she can slide up and down (parallel to the bed) the length of his penis. (Greater movement is possible with some erection, but even without she can slide some.) Since this is basically her clitoris rubbing against the most sensitive part of his penis, it's very possible for both of them to reach climax this way. Changing the point of contact and the amount of movement will change the intensity of the stimulation for both of them, making it possible to find a method which brings them to orgasm at about the same time. If he climaxes before her, she should start farther down the shaft; if she climaxes first, she needs to be more on the glans. Apply lubricant to his and her bits as needed, and have fun!
Paul
Marriage and Sex Educator ~ My passion is better marriages and better married sex lives.

The Generous Husband
The XY Code - Attempting to explain men to women.
Follow me on Twitter @themarriagebed

CLA
Queen bed
Posts: 203
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 2:02 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): January 1st, 1978
Gender: Male

Re: How should a husband deal with this?

Postby CLA » Wed Jan 05, 2011 11:58 am

Thanks, I will suggest that to her. We did try something similar except I was on top of her. Another earlier suggestion was that I simply remain still while in her and she uses her vibe. That has worked sometimes, although if she hasn't been hurting lately and I try that she starts to want me to move! I guess instinct takes over the brain at some point and she forgets how much it will hurt afterwards.

Also, on the prior post we have been told that any type of HRT is contraindicated for a woman with a history of blood clots.

User avatar
James186282
Queen bed
Posts: 158
Joined: Mon Jul 18, 2005 4:23 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): September 23rd, 1988
Gender: Male

Re: How should a husband deal with this?

Postby James186282 » Wed Jan 26, 2011 4:19 pm

Blood clots could be an issue but be sure your talking to a real expert in this. There are a wide variety of thought on even the use of HRT and there are doctors that say NO to it all the time and others who say yes almost as much. I would really study up and talk to some mainstream experts.

Another idea is to speak to a therapist. One who does sex therapy for couples might be of some value.


Return to “Menopause”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users