Now maybe a hysterectomy ?

Menopause - how it impacts your health, your sexuality, and your life in general.
User avatar
beekeeper
California King
Posts: 839
Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2005 7:34 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 12th, 1981
Gender: Male
Location: Forests of Maine
Contact:

Now maybe a hysterectomy ?

Postby beekeeper » Fri Sep 28, 2012 6:37 pm

And the saga goes on, ...

My DW felt bloated, gassy, crampy, and began 'passing clots'. As it turns out, she has gone 2 years without mense. She was sent to get an ultrasound, and they found ovary cysts and Uterine Fibroids. Her next stop is to see a Gyno. She wants a complete hysterectomy.

Is there any chance that a hysterectomy might effect her pain during PIV?

As background info: My Dw at 25 was diagnosed as low E, but due to her youth they could not diagnose perimenopause. Night sweats, hot flashes, mood swings, vaginal dryness, vulvodynia symptoms, sometimes she went 2 or 3 months between mense, other times she would mense twice in a month. Over the passage of 25 years, the lack of E seems to have caused general lack of muscle tone [including cardiac muscle, which has led to a series of heart attacks] weight gain and vaginal atrophy. Doctors have always refused to give her HRT as her mother, aunts and sister all had breast and/or cervical cancers.

mamame
Pay no attention to the folks behind the curtain.
Pay no attention to the folks behind the curtain.
Posts: 7580
Joined: Sat Sep 17, 2005 1:16 pm

Re: Now maybe a hysterectomy ?

Postby mamame » Fri Sep 28, 2012 7:19 pm

Has she been diagnosed with PCOS?

************
Why yes, I do post from my phone. How could you tell?

User avatar
Kilarin
Under the stars
Posts: 2623
Joined: Sat Jul 01, 2006 5:36 pm
Location: South of Ft. Worth Texas

Re: Now maybe a hysterectomy ?

Postby Kilarin » Fri Sep 28, 2012 7:27 pm

It certainly might make her feel better.

I know it's a bad example, but we had a dog that had been dragging around kinda slow for several years. Finally the doc said she had some problems and needed a hysterectomy. The day we brought her back, she was supposed to be feeling very bad and sick from the surgery and anesthesia. But she wanted to run and jump and play like she hadn't done in years. Took some real work to keep her quieted down and resting like she was supposed to be. But she just felt SO much better than she did before.

Deelmo
Blanket on a secluded beach!
Posts: 1980
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2012 2:00 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 8th, 1979
Gender: Male
Location: Tennessee

Re: Now maybe a hysterectomy ?

Postby Deelmo » Fri Sep 28, 2012 7:32 pm

My DW had to have a hysterectomy at age 35. She said afterwards that she never felt better and wished that she had done at 30 when the doctor first started warning her about it. We went on vacation only 3 weeks after her surgery. She felt great. No hormone replacement for her either. Hope it turns out as well for your wife.
On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being the least, 10 being the greatest) are you normal? I am a 1. And who's scale am I using? My wife's, of course!

User avatar
beekeeper
California King
Posts: 839
Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2005 7:34 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 12th, 1981
Gender: Male
Location: Forests of Maine
Contact:

Re: Now maybe a hysterectomy ?

Postby beekeeper » Fri Sep 28, 2012 7:51 pm

mamame wrote:Has she been diagnosed with PCOS?


No.

User avatar
beekeeper
California King
Posts: 839
Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2005 7:34 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 12th, 1981
Gender: Male
Location: Forests of Maine
Contact:

Re: Now maybe a hysterectomy ?

Postby beekeeper » Fri Sep 28, 2012 7:53 pm

Deelmo wrote:My DW had to have a hysterectomy at age 35. She said afterwards that she never felt better and wished that she had done at 30 when the doctor first started warning her about it. We went on vacation only 3 weeks after her surgery. She felt great. No hormone replacement for her either. Hope it turns out as well for your wife.


She wanted one 25 years ago, but the doctors have been against it.

Hopefully this will be enough for them to finally go along.

User avatar
robin
Under the stars
Posts: 2917
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2006 1:22 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 31st, 1989
Gender: Female
Location: Peering through my hatehole

Re: Now maybe a hysterectomy ?

Postby robin » Sat Sep 29, 2012 12:39 am

I had one at 23. Never, ever regretted it. Except for going from thick hair to thin hair. Other than that it's been great.
Biting is excellent! It's like kissing only there's a winner! - Idris

jsaw
Queen bed
Posts: 100
Joined: Sun Dec 11, 2011 2:13 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): May 16th, 1998
Gender: Male

Re: Now maybe a hysterectomy ?

Postby jsaw » Sat Sep 29, 2012 1:28 pm

My DW at 43 had the symptoms you describe after trips to the ER, and doctors, and talking with other women who had hysterectomys, she decided to have one.
She does have hot flashes now, and has to take estrogen to combat vaginal dryness. Her mood swings are much better now. She will get mad and be over it in a few minutes as opposed to being mad at me for 3 days.
All in all, things turned out good.

User avatar
beekeeper
California King
Posts: 839
Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2005 7:34 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 12th, 1981
Gender: Male
Location: Forests of Maine
Contact:

Re: Now maybe a hysterectomy ?

Postby beekeeper » Sat Sep 29, 2012 1:37 pm

With a substantial family history of female cancers, would HRT become available after a hysterectomy?

Her mother died of cancer when she was 13, so it had a huge effect on her attitude concerning cancer.

Deelmo
Blanket on a secluded beach!
Posts: 1980
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2012 2:00 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 8th, 1979
Gender: Male
Location: Tennessee

Re: Now maybe a hysterectomy ?

Postby Deelmo » Sat Sep 29, 2012 1:44 pm

beekeeper wrote:With a substantial family history of female cancers, would HRT become available after a hysterectomy?

Her mother died of cancer when she was 13, so it had a huge effect on her attitude concerning cancer.


My DW has strong family history of breast cancer, and uterine cancer. At the time of her hysterectomy her doctors would only do 6 months of HRT. After that they said NO WAY. She feels great without it. And it was a great decision because 10 years ago she developed breast cancer. Your wife would really need to question her doctors thorughly about HRT with cancer history.
On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being the least, 10 being the greatest) are you normal? I am a 1. And who's scale am I using? My wife's, of course!

User avatar
robin
Under the stars
Posts: 2917
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2006 1:22 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 31st, 1989
Gender: Female
Location: Peering through my hatehole

Re: Now maybe a hysterectomy ?

Postby robin » Sat Sep 29, 2012 3:45 pm

beekeeper wrote:With a substantial family history of female cancers, would HRT become available after a hysterectomy?

Her mother died of cancer when she was 13, so it had a huge effect on her attitude concerning cancer.


Both of my parents have had cancer. My mom died when I was 13 and my dad had it when I was about 7 and now has it again.

According to my doctor only 10%-ish of cancers are hereditary and it's actually not when the parents have had it that is the major concern, it's when it's the siblings.

If she is so concerned about cancer then she needs to ask her doctor to refer her to an oncologist or tumor/cancer center for a full cancer screening and cancer marker series to determine if she has the markers or not and clearly spell out her risks.

If her risk is low then HRT might be worth a shot. She probably has a dozen things that she does on a daily basis that is more risky cancer wise than HRT will ever be. It may also end up that she just doesn't need HRT. Unless she only eats genuine organic foods, never uses certain cosmetics and never uses plastic for anything then estrogen is all around her.

I'm not 100% convinced that low estrogen is really the whole of her problem. I have to wonder if the vaginal atrophy has more to do with the fact that she didn't use those muscles and now she's lost tone.

It would be worth going to the doctor with her and after her exam having a word with the doctor explaining the issues you two have had. If she ends up getting a hysterectomy ask the doctor to consider making her vaginal "pouch" longer and ask him/her to explain the concept of the vaginal dilators and whether or not that is an option you should consider.

Has it occurred to her that she has been so freaked out about the possibility of cancer that she has missed out on actually living her life she has been so afraid to lose?
Biting is excellent! It's like kissing only there's a winner! - Idris

User avatar
landschooner
Under the stars
Posts: 4011
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2007 3:15 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): August 17th, 1991
Gender: Male

Re: Now maybe a hysterectomy ?

Postby landschooner » Sat Sep 29, 2012 3:51 pm

Hey bkpr,

I'm sorry you guys are going through this.
I will remember you both in prayer.

....gonna ask not just for physical recovery but healing of the sexual issues too. Maybe the surgery will help that as well, as you suggested. Been praying for her eyes to opened for a long time now.

Take care brother. Keep us in the loop when you can. You guys are cared about here.

LS

User avatar
landschooner
Under the stars
Posts: 4011
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2007 3:15 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): August 17th, 1991
Gender: Male

Re: Now maybe a hysterectomy ?

Postby landschooner » Sat Sep 29, 2012 3:56 pm

robin wrote:Has it occurred to her that she has been so freaked out about the possibility of cancer that she has missed out on actually living her life she has been so afraid to lose?


Wow. That's something I need to remember myself. Can't be so afraid of loss that we never live.

User avatar
beekeeper
California King
Posts: 839
Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2005 7:34 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 12th, 1981
Gender: Male
Location: Forests of Maine
Contact:

Re: Now maybe a hysterectomy ?

Postby beekeeper » Sat Sep 29, 2012 5:15 pm

Getting old now, I think that much of life has already gone by for us.

:)

mamame
Pay no attention to the folks behind the curtain.
Pay no attention to the folks behind the curtain.
Posts: 7580
Joined: Sat Sep 17, 2005 1:16 pm

Re: Now maybe a hysterectomy ?

Postby mamame » Sat Sep 29, 2012 7:39 pm

beekeeper wrote:
mamame wrote:Has she been diagnosed with PCOS?


No.


Better question - has she been evaluated for PCOS?

************
Why yes, I do post from my phone. How could you tell?

User avatar
beekeeper
California King
Posts: 839
Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2005 7:34 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 12th, 1981
Gender: Male
Location: Forests of Maine
Contact:

Re: Now maybe a hysterectomy ?

Postby beekeeper » Sat Sep 29, 2012 8:08 pm

mamame wrote:
beekeeper wrote:
mamame wrote:Has she been diagnosed with PCOS?


No.


Better question - has she been evaluated for PCOS?


We have recently experienced the shift in our healthcare where we are now treated by MDs with college degrees AND Med school. [24+ years of being treated by corpsmen instills distrust in medical personnel.]

I doubt she has seen anyone who knew what PCOS is [I find it unimaginable that anyone truly wants Federally provided healthcare]. :)

She has an appointment with a Gyno to see about these ovary cysts, I will talk to her about PCOS and she can ask.

She was given a copy of 'Our bodies ourselves' when she was 13, the aunt who was her guardian was very stand-offish [as she was the poor relative burdening the aunt]. 'Our bodies ourselves' is very much anti-male, it incorporates a mindset that males should never be included in female healthcare.

User avatar
golfwidow
Hammock
Posts: 998
Joined: Sat Apr 14, 2012 4:53 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): April 6th, 1978
Gender: Female

Re: Now maybe a hysterectomy ?

Postby golfwidow » Sun Sep 30, 2012 2:04 am

::pray

User avatar
robin
Under the stars
Posts: 2917
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2006 1:22 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 31st, 1989
Gender: Female
Location: Peering through my hatehole

Re: Now maybe a hysterectomy ?

Postby robin » Sun Sep 30, 2012 5:02 am

beekeeper wrote:Getting old now, I think that much of life has already gone by for us.
:)


Nope. As long as you two are still kicking and breathing ie: ALIVE!!! Then ANYTHING on this earth is worth a shot.

So GO to the doctor appointment and lay it ALL bare. Don't warn her, just do it. TELL ALL. How you are starving for some affection/attention. That your wife knows that she failing you Tell that doctor that you are willing to try ANYTHING to pain this pan away.

If he/she suggests anything that you HAVE tried in the last two years (that's important) then tell him to keep throwing suggestions at you and write them down.

You both are FAR from too old and this is FAR from too late.

If you never ask then the answer will always be no.
Biting is excellent! It's like kissing only there's a winner! - Idris

jsaw
Queen bed
Posts: 100
Joined: Sun Dec 11, 2011 2:13 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): May 16th, 1998
Gender: Male

Re: Now maybe a hysterectomy ?

Postby jsaw » Sun Sep 30, 2012 6:40 am

I'm not 100% convinced that low estrogen is really the whole of her problem. I have to wonder if the vaginal atrophy has more to do with the fact that she didn't use those muscles and now she's lost tone.

Dr told us that we had to use things to keep things working and in shape

User avatar
beekeeper
California King
Posts: 839
Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2005 7:34 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 12th, 1981
Gender: Male
Location: Forests of Maine
Contact:

Re: Now maybe a hysterectomy ?

Postby beekeeper » Sun Oct 07, 2012 7:09 pm

Time marches on, slowly at times.

DW is still having a period for the past 12 days, and for the past 3 days she has had blood in her stool. Her appointment with a GYN is in 8 days, next Monday. So we wait.

We spoke about the idea of the surgeon making her vaginal "pouch" longer and she likes that idea. If it would allow her to accommodate me without so much pain.

I think that passing blood from two different orifices seems out of proportion to a post-menopausal period, but her PCP seems to think it is okay.


Return to “Menopause”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users