When Hormones Are Off for Both Spouses

Menopause - how it impacts your health, your sexuality, and your life in general.
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When Hormones Are Off for Both Spouses

Postby poetess » Thu Mar 23, 2017 7:56 am

How do you keep the desire kindled?

Most likely my husband and I both have hormone issues going on. I had a hysterectomy a number of years ago, before we met. Though I kept my ovaries, I’ve had menopausal symptoms over the last year or so, and it has been a long time since I’ve felt the spike in libido I recognized as ovulation time. I have little lubrication even when I’m aroused, and a little bit of pain (esp. upon entry) isn’t uncommon.

Meanwhile, my husband almost certainly has low T. He has myriad symptoms: brain fog, no morning wood, a strong decrease in sexual interest, crying more readily, difficulty staying erect in some positions, constant tiredness. At a medical appointment for him last fall, his doctor said he wanted to send him for some standard blood tests, and my DH thought to add that I was concerned about his T levels, and so his doctor added it to the list. But my husband never followed through on the blood tests (I’ve asked him to several times), so that was ultimately irrelevant. I’m not sure a standard blood test is likely to find it, anyway, from what I have read on this site about low T not usually being a medical priority, but if he doesn’t follow through on even that much, I don’t know my chances of getting him to see a specialist. It seems unlikely we can afford to have both of us treated for hormone issues, but treating just me would seem pointless.

So . . . we have had a hard couple of months. I was sick for more than a week in February, then he was sick (he hasn’t fully recovered), and then a family member was sick, and then a close family member and a distant family member died. We had intercourse once, possibly twice, in February, and twice so far in March, with almost no sexual touch from him otherwise. (I don’t count his touching my breasts as sexual touch, since that’s for him and it does nothing for me, but really he has hardly done that.)

A couple weeks ago I told him that if he wasn’t up to having sex yet, could we at least cuddle naked? He willingly came to bed with me naked and lay on his back. It was nice to lie skin to skin with him and to touch his sexual parts, but it hardly approached sexual touch. Periodically I have flashed him, whispered to him that I want him the next day, fondled him, etc. One day last month when it had been a couple of weeks since we’d had sex, we had a few minutes of hot sexual fun that ended with him ejaculating on my chest. It was playful, and it was fun, but it felt as though “he” had had sex and “we” still hadn’t, since he never touched my sexual parts and there was nothing approaching foreplay.

I begin to wonder why should I even bother stoking my libido? As a menopausal woman, I need sex a couple of times a week if it is to feel good, and I need foreplay (which I’m unlikely to get—he’s either hot and ready to go right now and we need to take advantage right now, or he’s not). But even flashing him or fondling him is unlikely to lead to anything sexual for me, so I touch him and try to keep it short so that I don’t get aroused, and I’ve come to expect he won’t respond anyway, so when he does respond sexually (this goes back a few months) I’m often surprised; even though technically I “initiated,” I’m not actually expecting sex and I suddenly have to make myself get in the mood. Or I am in the mood and I tease him and he doesn’t respond at all, so I walk away disappointed. And yet if we actually do have sex, I’m not likely to have an orgasm, and it may not even feel very pleasurable, and so often it feels like we’re really only having sex “for him,” and yet I’m doing most of the work of initiation and of sex itself. This may be part of why he himself seems to have lost interest, I don’t know. I know we would both like it if I would have orgasms, but for me that’s secondary to having regular sexual connections, and efforts in the orgasm direction have proved futile so far. I loved having sex when we were doing it two or three times a week, and the times we’ve done it that many times in a day we both love it. Yet in the last year, going away for a few days (which usually gives us more than daily sexual encounters) has even led to sex every few days. Teasing him six or eight times before we get a five-minute quickie, and having him touch me between the legs only about once every month or is not what I pictured for my marriage.

How do I keep my libido from giving up and crashing altogether? And if we're going to work on hormone issues medically, do we start with his or with mine?
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Re: When Hormones Are Off for Both Spouses

Postby seeking perspective » Thu Mar 23, 2017 8:36 am

I'm sorry you're in a rough patch, poetess. It's one that my husband and I have been in before (and parts of it are an issue currently).

It was nice to lie skin to skin with him and to touch his sexual parts, but it hardly approached sexual touch.


First, I would like to say that this ^^^ is such an important thing to do. It is sexual touch because in that it involves sexual parts and a level of physical of intimacy that you share with no one else. I would suggest that you ask him to touch your sexual parts as well. With his libido decreased, he has a unique opportunity to learn and explore what kinds of touch you most enjoy. Enjoy the stimulation without the goal of either of you having an orgasm.

When my husband and I hit a stretch when both of us have lower libido, we make a point of doing this several times a week because it is physically comforting to both of us. Sometimes it becomes sexy time, but it is an intimate connect even when it is not sexy. This usually happens because I tell my husband it is something we need to do just to stay connected. Neither of us will necessarily feel like taking our clothes off to lie in bed for a while, but we do it and it is always the right thing to do.

poetess wrote:I have little lubrication even when I’m aroused, and a little bit of pain (esp. upon entry) isn’t uncommon.


After my hysterectomy (I also kept my ovaries), the nurse told me that most women who have the surgery require artificial lubrication. I've produce very little lubrication on my own. Coconut oil is always necessary. So that isn't necessarily a problem for you. Your pain is more of a concern. If you and your husband make a point of lying naked together, ask him to spend some time arousing you--and after you are experiencing some arousal, ask him to add some internal stimulation. It is possible that this can help you maintain healthier vaginal tissue and avoid some of the atrophy that may be causing the pain.

How do I keep my libido from giving up and crashing altogether?


Lie together naked, with sexual caressing. This should help raise your arousal baseline, so to speak.

And if we're going to work on hormone issues medically, do we start with his or with mine?


I would suggest that you start with his. Your issues can be addressed with artificial lubricant and, hopefully, with frequent sexual stimulation when lying together. Also, since you've described your sexual desire as a responsive one, taking care of your husband's issues may help you as well.

That said, you should both talk with your doctors. Find out what is going on medically and what would be involved in treating it. Then if you need to make a decision based on economics, you at least know what your options are--and you may find that it is less expensive than you think.
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Re: When Hormones Are Off for Both Spouses

Postby SeekingChange » Thu Mar 23, 2017 9:03 am

Though I am not exactly where you are, I am dealing with a husband having hormone issues, and a lot of your questions and feelings you mention, I have felt. Why try to keep something alive that no longer seems needed or wanted? Though I am not menopausal, it would be very easy to allow my sexuality to go dormant, I have a lot of other things in life I can focus my time and energy on.
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Re: When Hormones Are Off for Both Spouses

Postby poetess » Thu Mar 23, 2017 9:09 am

SP, thank you.

BTW, we always use coconut oil. But in the early days of our marriage, my body would add its own, too. Nowadays that seems not to be happening at all, most of the time. But part of the problem is that once he is interested, he's fully aroused and ready to go, and it's a matter of "time" before we lose the window for him. So I pretty much can't ask him to spend a lot of time on foreplay, because his body won't cooperate for long. I don't think I'm going to orgasm without hormonal help at this point--I've worked toward that end, and so has he--but that hasn't kept me from loving sexual touch and sexual encounters. But these days when I fondle him he usually doesn't even grin at me; it's like he's tolerating me touching him, but he doesn't really care whether I do or not. And then out of the blue the next day he'll playfully push me onto the bed and be ready to ejaculate on my chest, and I'm like "Wait, we haven't had intercourse in two weeks, and two minutes of fun sexual play is supposed to be enough?"

A couple of weeks ago I showered and then he showered, and I got the sense that he'd be open to sex when he came out, so I got the bullet vibe and started working with it. So I was ready to go by the time he came to bed. But by the time we were engaged in intercourse I was full out crying, it had been so long since he had been inside me. (I don't mean crying from pain, but from emotional relief that I finally had my husband's body after two or three weeks.) It was a really intimate time, and precious, but I don't want to keep such encounters to monthly! (This calendar year it has only been about once a month we've had an encounter that isn't a quickie, with one or two quickies between them.)

I think I will press for him to get his hormones checked, though, and to tell him outright that I need sexual touch. I know he hesitates to give it when he doesn't want sex, because he's afraid it will lead me on. But it's a self-perpetuating vicious cycle, because if he only touches me sexually when he actively desires sex (and actually usually only does it when I actually ask him to, or move his hand), then of course sexual touch is going to tell me "He's willing to have sex!" But I would love him to touch me sexually just because I'm his wife and he can, as I do to him. More of the naked cuddling is probably a good idea, too. (That one encounter didn't feel sexual because he just lay there, permitting me to touch his sexual parts but not really seeming to care whether I did or not, and not touching me at all, sexually or otherwise. He was cooperative, he did what I asked, but he wasn't engaged.)

Thanks, SC.
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Re: When Hormones Are Off for Both Spouses

Postby poetess » Tue Mar 28, 2017 8:31 am

I purposely put this topic on the menopause forum (I debated putting it on the low testosterone one, and it could have fit in desire issues too), because this is a forum you have to choose and I don't have to worry that all the tech-savvy newlyweds in church are reading it and wondering if this is me. :lol: I don't see a lot of point in announcing to the whole world "I've never have a 'real' orgasm unless it was with that detachable showerhead that I used to enjoy at ovulation time back before we got married and before my hysterectomy."

But I'll admit I'm struggling a bit with some of the other threads where women are saying, "Oh I have to have an orgasm every time! I can't imagine not wanting one. Sex wouldn't be fun without one!" (Paraphrased summary, not a precise quote.) For five and a half years I have thoroughly enjoyed the chance to manhandle a penis, I love it when he strokes my sexual parts or my face, I love it when he tells me my smile during sex is so hot, I love it when he ejaculates, I love feeling him in me, I love how playful it often is and the wordplay of sexual innuendoes, I love the feel of skin-to-skin contact and the intimacy of seeing each other naked, and sexual touch often feels really good. So I really, really like sex, enough to be the one to initiate most of the time over the past year or so. Sex continues to be satisfying and fun, even without an orgasm--though it's harder now that I have to work harder to keep him aroused and have to work quickly to stay in the window of his arousal.

But would I "like" to have an orgasm? Yes. I've even lain there on days when my body feels "close" and my husband is actively engaged, with my eyes closed and praying, "God, please let me have an orgasm under my husband's touch." I've gone through all the tips on here and other blogs, and for a while it seemed like I was moving closer, but not anymore. I assume I have fewer hormones in my body, and DH isn't engaged often enough or actively enough (long enough) to "get me there," so at this point there doesn't seem much point in continuing to experiment on my own--it probably isn't going to happen without hormones, and I have no interest in solo masturbation for its own sake. (I lived all my single years without it, and I don't need it now.)

And then I read people saying more or less "A woman's orgasm is so important to a man, and his experience is diminished if she doesn't have one" and I want to scream, "Really, do we need to go there?!" My breasts are for him (I feel no sexual pleasure when he touches them, but frequently feel some level of pain), and I'm the one initiating and usually doing most of the work and he's the one having orgasms, and now I'm told it's only "duty sex" and unsatisfactory for him if I don't have an orgasm, because my orgasms are really more about him than about me? (I know, no one said that exactly, though sex without an orgasm for her was called "duty sex.") No--sex is for us, for both of us, whatever does or doesn't happen in a specific session, and I'm the one who knows whether there is any chance of an orgasm happening this session and so I'm the one who chooses not to have him waste his time stroking me in a session where ten minutes into stroking me it still doesn't bring any pleasure. Even if I were younger, and had orgasms easier, I know that at least in my thirties my body was distinctly different during ovulation time, and I probably could have had them easily then but not other times of the month--that wouldn't be selfish to be aware of that and to communicate it. It might be selfish if I could have them easily and my husband wanted me to, and I wasn't interested (but even that depends on so many circumstances, such as the strength of the relationship overall, how exhausted I am by care of children, whether the orgasm actually brought any pleasure, etc.--it would seem weird if he wants her to orgasm because "he finds pleasure in her pleasure" if she doesn't actually have any). And I'm really, really glad my husband has never once expressed disappointment I haven't had one. (He has encouraged me to work toward one, but never any pushing, and never any sense I'm "failing him.")

But I know that some have felt I've said more than enough on the other threads already! (Initially I kept trying NOT to say anything further since "women who don't want an orgasm" was not my own personal experience, and I kept getting pushed to reply more. . . .) Rant over.
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Re: When Hormones Are Off for Both Spouses

Postby SeekingChange » Tue Mar 28, 2017 9:30 am

No matter the relationship, whether it's marriage or another form, we should all work at being understanding. It's not crucial to understand another, or to be understood by them, but to be understanding. It sounds like your husband is understanding and that is a blessing. You aren't other women, you are you. Your husband isn't other men, he is he. Live loved, don't worry about others opinions or let their experiences rob you and your marriage of peace.
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Re: When Hormones Are Off for Both Spouses

Postby seeking perspective » Tue Mar 28, 2017 9:46 am

poetess wrote:But I'll admit I'm struggling a bit with some of the other threads where women are saying, "Oh I have to have an orgasm every time! I can't imagine not wanting one. Sex wouldn't be fun without one!" (Paraphrased summary, not a precise quote.)


I understand this. Orgasm has always been difficult for me--more so as my hormones have changed.

But would I "like" to have an orgasm? Yes. I've even lain there on days when my body feels "close" and my husband is actively engaged, with my eyes closed and praying, "God, please let me have an orgasm under my husband's touch." I've gone through all the tips on here and other blogs, and for a while it seemed like I was moving closer, but not anymore. I assume I have fewer hormones in my body, and DH isn't engaged often enough or actively enough (long enough) to "get me there," so at this point there doesn't seem much point in continuing to experiment on my own--it probably isn't going to happen without hormones, and I have no interest in solo masturbation for its own sake.


Poetess, I would like to encourage you to continue the effort. Sort of. I remember so many nights early in our marriage when I lay there praying that same prayer. For a woman who has not experienced an orgasm, the focus on that as a goal can make it even more difficult. In that regard, it sometimes is best to just let go of the goal.

Even without orgasm, however, sexual sensations can be a delight of their own. That, not orgasm, is what I am encouraging you to pursue.

The fact that your husband is less interested for himself gives you a unique opportunity to expand your own repertoire of sexual pleasure. This article is for husbands. The second half of the article is specifically about how a husband can touch his wife to help her experience a variety of sexual sensations. It involves far more than stroking. As part of your naked cuddle time, tell him that you would like to find out what else there is to feel sexually. Set the timer for 30 minutes and ask him to explore your body in various ways, avoiding the genitals unless you specifically ask him to do so.

No--sex is for us, for both of us, whatever does or doesn't happen in a specific session, and I'm the one who knows whether there is any chance of an orgasm happening this session and so I'm the one who chooses not to have him waste his time stroking me in a session where ten minutes into stroking me it still doesn't bring any pleasure.


Consider that perhaps you don't actually know whether there is a chance until you've spent half an hour being sexual together. Ten minutes isn't nearly enough time for me to have any idea. Stroking the sexual parts does nothing for me until my mind is relaxed and my body has had some non-sexual stimulation. There are times I need half an hour of non-sexual physical stimulation before sexual stimulation feels arousing to me. It can take time and technique. Also, I often find that it isn't until after my husband has had a PIV orgasm that I am ready to go. Timing matters in more ways than one.

I would like to encourage you, too, to consider solo masturbation--not for the purpose of having an orgasm but for the purpose of exploring your body slowly and learning what kinds of touches you would most like your husband to try. Solo masturbation in this case would not be for its own sake but for the sake of strengthening the intimacy you and your husband share.

Sex without an orgasm can be such a pleasure and such a delight. It strengthens intimacy. Your marriage bed sounds so full of intimacy. Adding this special physical sensation makes it exponentially better. It is worth continuing to learn what else your body can experience with your husband, even if orgasm does not happen. My friend told me that her mother-in-law experienced her first orgasm at the age of 70.

And I'm really, really glad my husband has never once expressed disappointment I haven't had one.


I am glad for you. I'd like to very gently ask . . . does your husband know that you have not had an orgasm?
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Re: When Hormones Are Off for Both Spouses

Postby poetess » Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:16 am

Thanks, ladies.

My husband does know that I have had (at best) mini orgasms. And I have spent extensive sessions with a bath and then a bullet vibe and so forth (following several different lines of instructions of "try this, in this sequence, to get to know your body"). I've had times when I feel like I get really close, but then nothing, no matter how I change it up (or don't). The times when I feel nothing (when he might as well be rubbing my elbow--and I choose "elbow" because every other part of me I can think of would feel at least some pleasure), if he continues I still feel nothing, so I've learned that for me those are just times it isn't going to work, and if it doesn't even feel good, why bother? Basically I've explored several different sex toys (including gels to increase sensation) and several different things. I've tried focusing on the sensations and enjoying them, I've tried relaxing, I've tried heavy breathing, I've pretty much tried everything. And within the last year symptoms of menopause have come in (some hot flashes here and there--I'm not really having a lot of those these days, but had a stretch of several months with a lot of them--and also greater dryness and some discomfort in sex) and along with his increased symptoms of low T and considerably less interest in sex, it feels like it's just not likely to happen.

My body doesn't really respond much to my own touch much, never has. A vibe helps, but I particularly like his touch. And honestly, even without an orgasm, there are times when the touch has felt so good that I lie in bed afterward grinning and resting before I turn to him and engage in intercourse. So it's definitely not the case for me that it isn't enjoyable. He has also done oral on me. He was married before he married me, and while I have never explored the details of their marriage bed, I assume his late wife did have orgasms, and by the time we married he already did know some things about sexual touch. (Actually, it took a year or so before I felt freedom to tell him to change anything, because I thought of him as being experienced and because he clearly did know more about what to try than I did.)

But if 45 minutes or so of play on days when I physically feel like maybe I can get there won't "get me there," my thoughts over the last year have been more along the line of "Enjoy the sensations and the closeness and if it happens, it happens." Well, that was my perspective our first year or two, too--I figured there was enough to learn without "trying" to have an orgasm, and I didn't know then that I was going to be losing my hormonal help. (I was ten or fifteen years from when my mother experienced menopause, and figured I had plenty of time.) Then we worked on it for a couple of years, and now I'm to the point of saying that increasing our frequency and our sexual touch is more important than whether (or when) I have an orgasm. I think if I can encourage him to get his testosterone checked, and he can get that straightened out, getting his libido back up would help me too.
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Re: When Hormones Are Off for Both Spouses

Postby doug-h » Tue Mar 28, 2017 11:54 am

Poetess,

I am hesitant to remark in this thread, but some of your comments here and in Rabbit Trail lead me to believe that I have unintentionally offended you. I would like to take a moment and appologize. Sometimes we tend to wear blinders when speaking of matters of the heart, and can't see well beyond the extent of our own experiences. I am afraid I was guilty of that.

I am happy for the intimacy you share with your husband. It sounds like you are both very lucky, and we could all do well to be more grateful for what we have and worry less about what we do not.

If that had been true of me, then a lot of heartache might have been avoided. It is a lesson I am still learning. Truthfully, what I often speak of is not so much in present tense, but mourning things that I wish HAD been different. The last 2 years have been amazing, and I should put my attention on those, rather that the ones that hurt so much, but regret is a hard thing to let go of.

I'm working on it tho.

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Re: When Hormones Are Off for Both Spouses

Postby poetess » Tue Mar 28, 2017 12:16 pm

Doug, I have no hard feelings toward you. I have been pleased several times over the last year or so to see how open you are to growth and learning, and to knowing better how to understand and love your wife. Thank you for your humility here. And I hope I haven't offended you, either--I do know we were "talking past" each other for a while.
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Re: When Hormones Are Off for Both Spouses

Postby be64 » Thu Apr 06, 2017 12:45 pm

Testosterone replacement doesn't have to be expensive. Self injected testosterone without insurance would only be about $30 a month. With insurance it would be less. Mine is about $10 per month. The thing to do is avoid high priced things like AndroGel. Men spend a lot more on useless supplements which promise to improve libido than they would spend on testosterone.
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Re: When Hormones Are Off for Both Spouses

Postby Leah » Fri Apr 07, 2017 5:29 am

As far as I can tell, reliable testosterone treatment is much more available and affordable than estrogen, especially estrogen from reliable sources. Bioidentical is even more expensive.

One of the drugs that has proven only marginally effective is now so expensive I have had to tell my doctor we have to find something else. Even the generic version is unsustainable because of cost.

There are things out ther to help women, but they are not carried by every pharmacy, and the cost may put them out of reach for many.
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Re: When Hormones Are Off for Both Spouses

Postby poetess » Fri Apr 07, 2017 6:19 am

Thank you for the comments on the price of T therapy. I think that more consistent access to sex would be helpful for me (whether or not I have a "real" orgasm is secondary to regular access), and I think that is likely to mean T therapy for him. Once he gets through his busy season at work I'll bring it up again to him.
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Re: When Hormones Are Off for Both Spouses

Postby ledgemoor » Fri Apr 07, 2017 9:21 pm

Women on bioidentical HRT are almost always prescribed a combination of two types of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone. DW spends about $70 per month. The cost is the same regardless of the dosage. The ingredients are not that expensive. You are paying a lot for the compounding pharmacist's time.

The doctor's appointments and lab tests will cost more than the actual hormones.

Anyway, Poetess, hormone problems are, in most cases, very treatable. The benefits extend beyond your sexual health. The most difficult part is typically getting the husband to go to the doctor.
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Re: When Hormones Are Off for Both Spouses

Postby Unfulfilled » Sat Apr 08, 2017 9:27 am

^^^ Or the wife in my case.

The desire to fix a problem must overcome the fear, or embarrassment or whatever is hindering the person from seeking the help necessary. True whether it is a hormonal or any other issue to overcome.

The pain of staying the same must exceed the pain of change. Or no change will occur. As long as it is more comfortable to remain in the status quo than to change, the person will remain in the status quo.

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Re: When Hormones Are Off for Both Spouses

Postby Leah » Sat Apr 08, 2017 12:14 pm

And the pain of bankrupting the family because of the cost of drugs must also be weighed. Not a refuser here, but age changes the equation quite a bit. Please do not assume that all families with insurance also have a lot of disposable income. We live small for a reason, and not every family is going to have the same dynamic or income. Nothing will actually turn back the hands of time. The inevitable might be delayed a bit, but eventually time wins.
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Re: When Hormones Are Off for Both Spouses

Postby poetess » Sat Apr 08, 2017 2:51 pm

Unfulfilled, I don't really think there is any "pain" involved for either of us. And finances are most definitely an issue. It is worth looking into T therapy for him (largely because I think he could function a lot better without the brain fog, and because it would help if his libido came back up a bit), but if we tried it and it didn't work well, it wouldn't doom either of us to despair. We have a happy, unified marriage, and if I never do orgasm, I still would take this good man over singleness, for as many years as God gives him to me, in a heartbeat. It isn't "settling" or "giving up" if we look into it and decide it isn't worth the cost, the risk, etc. Most people throughout history have not had the option of hormone therapy, and I'm a firm believer that the presence of a specific medical treatment does not make it a morally obligatory thing. (Just because we can do organ transplants, chemotherapy, hormone therapy, etc. does not mean we must--it is not sin not to do so, especially if husband and wife are both in agreement that it isn't worth it.) But we'll look into it and see.
Marriage--what a wonderful image of Christ's love for His bride!

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Re: When Hormones Are Off for Both Spouses

Postby Unfulfilled » Sat Apr 08, 2017 5:47 pm

My point was not about pain per say. It was to point out that thee MUST be a motivation to change. If it takes more effort to change than to remain the same. You will remain the same. If on the other hand the motivation or the reward or whatever, makes remaining the same unacceptable and they will do what they need to do to achieve the change.

The point was for those people who have a hormonal problem but are ambivalent and have no motivation to seek treatment, the they need some motivation to do so. Either a dread to run FROM, or a dream to run TOWARDS.

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Re: When Hormones Are Off for Both Spouses

Postby Leah » Sat Apr 08, 2017 7:08 pm

Perhaps, Unfulfilled, you do not realize you are preaching to the choir. We are all very sad about your situation, but that is no reason to fling about platitudes in such a hurtful way to people who really do have happy, sexually wonderful marriages and are now facing a time in life when their bodies are beginning to fail a little bit. At least give us a place to discuss how we move gracefully into another phase of life.
Leah

“I have learned now that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more.”--C.S. Lewis


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Re: When Hormones Are Off for Both Spouses

Postby poetess » Sat Apr 08, 2017 7:55 pm

Thanks, Leah. I know you have some similar dynamics to some of this, and it isn't always as easy as "one visit to the doctor and your life will be perfect."

Unfulfilled, yes, there has to be "motivation" to change. But one must also do a cost/benefit analysis, and sometimes the present reality is the best option available--or the only realistic option. And that's where 1 Timothy 6:6 comes in: "But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment." It takes wisdom to discern whether a present reality can reasonably be changed, at what cost, at what priority, etc. In the meantime, contentment with where God has us today, even if there is work within our power and resources to make some changes in the future, is always in order.
Marriage--what a wonderful image of Christ's love for His bride!


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