Vaginismus: Updated

Painfull intercourse, pain with sexual activity, and pain that prevents sex or makes sex difficult.
TexasBob

Re: Vaginismus: Updated

Postby TexasBob » Sat Nov 02, 2013 4:48 pm

She said she has no drive and doesn't get anything out of it. When we were first married she was wearing me out but now I am lucky to get a hug once or twice a month.

khart14
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Re: Vaginismus: Updated

Postby khart14 » Wed Dec 17, 2014 7:06 am

I have been married 8 months and seem to be having the same issues.
It's ridiculous. It's beyond frusterating. I feel your pain, trust me.
Sometimes its to the point that I feel like I fail my DH on a daily basis.
I hate that feeling. he deserves so much more than I am able to give.
He is very gracious to me but i can tell when frustration takes over in him even though he tries to hide it.
its like when we attempt PIV, The V isnt there. its like We cant even find an opening. we try everything.
we try fingers, vibrator, foreplay for as long as we can. When I am regulary taking the pill, I dont even have a sex drive.
When I miss days on the pill, I actually have desire. Thats why Im wondering maybe the pill has something to do with it.
I dont know. I dont think I can pray, or cry, or try do anything more about it. So frusterating.

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MapleSyrup
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Re: Vaginismus: Updated

Postby MapleSyrup » Sat Jan 10, 2015 2:29 pm

Things were SO much better when I got off the pill. I'm convinced it was 90% of the problem.
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facetoface
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Re: Vaginismus: Updated

Postby facetoface » Sat Jan 10, 2015 10:42 pm

The pill was also a huge problem for me. I had absolutely no sexual drive when I was on it.

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Re: Vaginismus: Updated

Postby Job29Man » Sun Jan 11, 2015 7:57 pm

Maple,

Do you mean the pill was 90% of the problem of the original vaginismus, or loss of libido, or something other? (BTW thanks for staying with this thread. It's a great resource!) :D
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Re: Vaginismus: Updated

Postby MapleSyrup » Thu Jan 15, 2015 5:20 am

The pill crippled my ability to get aroused, so it affected everything. Without arousal there is no libido. Without arousal there is pain. With pain comes vaginismus. No matter how much lube we used, it was never enough. No matter how much foreplay we had, it was never enough. Things just never "opened up" properly to receive dh. It was incredibly frustrating because my mind was "there" but my body wasn't cooperating.

(I'm finding it similarly difficult right now with post-partum sex and breastfeeding. It's the same hormones at play, so I'm convinced that those hormones have a huge impact on arousal. At least that's true in my case. Unfortunately I can't just simply choose to "quit" this at the moment. ;) )
"Let the wife make her husband glad to come home and let him make her sorry to see him leave."
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Re: Vaginismus: Updated

Postby beekeeper » Thu Jan 15, 2015 1:45 pm

^^^ That makes sense. Hopefully in the future you will find a way to avoid the pill.

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facetoface
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Re: Vaginismus: Updated

Postby facetoface » Thu Jan 15, 2015 4:51 pm

That was also my experience Maple. But I had no idea that the pill was causing this problem. No one anywhere even hinted that the pill could do this. I sufferend many years because of this. Needlessly. Now I try to warn anyone who will listen that this can be a side effect of the pill - lest anyone have the esperience I had.

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Re: Vaginismus: Updated

Postby DeeDee » Thu Apr 16, 2015 7:31 am

::hi
I am new to this board but have read this entire thread on vaginismus, which I was finally diagnosed with by my gynecologist several months ago. She recommended the dilators on a vaginismus site. I have also read all their information and they offer 2 choices: the dilators with complete "self help system" which includes books, CD's, access to their forum etc. for almost $100. or just the dilators for half that amount. I'm sitting on the fence as to which to get. Background: my DH and I have been married 23 years. Its the second marriage for both of us, both of our first spouses cheated and initiated divorce. I have always enjoyed LM until after menopause and did not know what was wrong. It gradually got painfully then impossible because we just weren't doing it enough to keep things going. My DH has a very low libido, which has been a great disappointment to me and has felt like rejection, and I'm afraid if we don't get things going soon he will have nothing! :?
So, my question to anyone who has been through this, is whether to get just the dilators or the entire "system?" DH would prefer I just get the dilators and I didn't really think I'd read and watch all that other stuff anyway. But with some of what I've read here about retraining muscles, pelvic floor exercises etc. I'm not sure the dilators alone will be enough. I have no problem at all with arousal but when it comes to entry, the door is locked!
I would like to hear from Maple Syrup because I know you ordered just the dilators. I would like to hear from others about the exercises etc. and if I can just find some of that info on the web. ::tnx


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