Dealing with Soreness

Painfull intercourse, pain with sexual activity, and pain that prevents sex or makes sex difficult.
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Learning1
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Dealing with Soreness

Postby Learning1 » Thu Mar 20, 2014 11:40 am

Hi TMB,

Been married just over a month. No problems with first time PIV, no pain, no significant discomfort. Much better than I expected. :D We might have overdid it a bit by night time on day 2, I was extremely sore & tender.

What has continuted is that during PIV I never have had any pain nor any discomfort, (kinda surprising) but after the euphoria/orgasms are over I can be very sore & tender, so PIV frequency is not where we want it to be :( .

I expected some soreness, I thought it would be not occuring as much by now, or I would be over it, or least show some signs of improving. :( .

My questions:

1. How do you Ladies, handle it, when parts of your body & brain are craving PIV but your vagina is too sore for PIV ?
2. Is it correct that at some point soreness will not re-occur as my lady bits become more acclimated to my sex life ?
3. How long do you think it will take until soreness/tenderness stops occurring ? How long did it take your you/your wife ?
4. Any suggestions to prevent soreness from occurring ? (we do use lots of coconut oil) ?
5. If I can't prevent it, how can I get soreness to go away faster ?
6. When I am sore we never attempt PIV, as our thoughts have been that will just make it worse & would be painful, but should we try when sore, to get me used to PIV ?
7. Ummm, DH is rather girthy, above average, length seems to be about avg. (I think that's OK to say) is this a major contributing factor ?
“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” C.S. Lewis

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anoblekree
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Re: Dealing with Soreness

Postby anoblekree » Thu Mar 20, 2014 11:53 am

My questions:

1. How do you Ladies, handle it, when parts of your body & brain are craving PIV but your vagina is too sore for PIV ?

Make sure you are well lubricated. Sometimes at first there is plenty of moisture but with a lot of vigorous friction you can dry and that might be part of the problem. Use lube or go to oral for a bit then back to PIV.

2. Is it correct that at some point soreness will not re-occur as my lady bits become more acclimated to my sex life ?

YES - Just give it time.

3. How long do you think it will take until soreness/tenderness stops occurring ? How long did it take your you/your wife ?

Don't fret. I remember when I was first married having the soreness you're talking about but I have no recollection of a time frame that I noticed it not being an issue anymore.

4. Any suggestions to prevent soreness from occurring ? (we do use lots of coconut oil) ?

See #1

5. If I can't prevent it, how can I get soreness to go away faster ?

I would take advantage of the situation and explore other love making techniques.

6. When I am sore we never attempt PIV, as our thoughts have been that will just make it worse & would be painful, but should we try when sore, to get me used to PIV ?

Let the soreness go away. See #5

7. Ummm, DH is rather girthy, above average, length seems to be about avg. (I think that's OK to say) is this a major contributing factor ?

Nope. They (DHs) grow we stretch. God made us "fit" together.

Don't stress out. The fact you are so new to this and enjoying orgasms at all is something to celebrate. Sounds like your sex life is off to a great start. Congratulations and ENJOY each other! God bless!

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happilymarriedkate
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Re: Dealing with Soreness

Postby happilymarriedkate » Thu Mar 20, 2014 12:16 pm

1. How do you Ladies, handle it, when parts of your body & brain are craving PIV but your vagina is too sore for PIV ?
The way I handle/handled it was to continue with LM. There were times, in the beginning",where maybe we did "low impact" or took a gentler approach until the soreness resolved. But we kept/keep going.

2. Is it correct that at some point soreness will not re-occur as my lady bits become more acclimated to my sex life ?
The soreness will eventually go away from being newly married. However, it may come back after, say an extended period of abstinence due to surgery, illness, etc when you resume again. I find this has happened if we have not ML for an extended period and then have sex twice in one day or for 3 days in a row, etc.

3. How long do you think it will take until soreness/tenderness stops occurring ? How long did it take your you/your wife ?
I remember being really sore on my honeymoon and then don't really remember when it stopped.

4. Any suggestions to prevent soreness from occurring ? (we do use lots of coconut oil) ?
I think it is just a matter of your body getting used to the new activity. Low impact, gentle LM may help and as always, being aroused and well lubricated naturally and/or with CO is very helpful.

5. If I can't prevent it, how can I get soreness to go away faster ?
We kind of looked at this as a phase we had to work through. So we did not take a break or change anything. We just waited for my body to get used to it. I was never in excruciating pain and the soreness did lessen until it went away altogether.

6. When I am sore we never attempt PIV, as our thoughts have been that will just make it worse & would be painful, but should we try when sore, to get me used to PIV ? See #5

7. Ummm, DH is rather girthy, above average, length seems to be about avg. (I think that's OK to say) is this a major contributing factor ? I think that any new stretching and activity will cause soreness for a little while but this is now your new normal so whatever the girth/ length your body will adjust eventually.

As previously stated, use your time to explore other methods and techniques for LM as well! Also, is the soreness were, for some reason, to get worse or intolerable, you may want to consult a physician. But that is not something I would anticipate.
~HM Kate

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Re: Dealing with Soreness

Postby azpeach » Thu Mar 20, 2014 12:47 pm

The advice you are being given is spot on!

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Re: Dealing with Soreness

Postby Learning1 » Sun Mar 23, 2014 8:20 am

Thanks all for responding.

Today I discovered the wonder that is vagisil cream. It worked to take away the soreness. Applied right after PIV (after I urinated) and so far so good, sitting comfortably !

Now DH and I are having a disagreement, as he thinks we need to wait to have PIV again, like 36 to 48 hours, like we had to do before I started using the cream, as in his words "the vagisil is just masking the soreness but its not healing the soreness". I say if we want to have PIV and its not sore we should go for it.

Is DH correct ?
“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” C.S. Lewis

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happilymarriedkate
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Re: Dealing with Soreness

Postby happilymarriedkate » Mon Mar 24, 2014 9:00 am

I think you need to be the judge of that...if you are wanting to ML then I think you should. I do understand where your DH might be coming from, however. He does not want to feel like he is contributing to anything that would cause you pain...which can kill the mood and an erection. Have you tried taking anything for the soreness/inflammation - natural or otc? I know you are using vagisil but I am talking about an anti-inflammatory. Is your soreness getting better, worse or staying the same?
~HM Kate

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Learning1
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Re: Dealing with Soreness

Postby Learning1 » Tue Mar 25, 2014 6:57 am

Hi HMK, thanks for responding

The soreness is staying the same, when the vagisil wears off, soreness returns.

On Honeymoon I took an OTC anti inflammatory, I think it helped (I actually took a few before 1st time sex). The effectiveness of the anti inflammatory seemed to lessen as days passed, so I had stopped taking them consistently. And I didn't want to over due it with them. I've never really needed an anti inflammatory for any length of time in the past so I am not at all familiar with natural anti-inflammatory. What natural remedies do you recommend ?

The vagsil brought immediate relief. The label says to apply 3-4 times daily. I have applied few times more than recommended to keep the soreness at bay. I do apply it sparingly per instructions.

DH is adamant that he will not do PIV until I am not sore without using vagisil. :roll: He is really conscious of not causing additional soreness & he does worry about his ummm… girth. We do connect sexually, OS/MS for him, make out sessions & other things for me.
“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” C.S. Lewis

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Re: Dealing with Soreness

Postby George B. » Tue Mar 25, 2014 7:12 am

I'm a bit concerned about how much vagisil you're using though its probably fine for now. Ask your ob/gyn about amounts especially over long periods of time. Maybe get some recommendations for other remedies.

We had the girthiness issue, too. It took a while for her to adjust to regular PIV intercourse with me, but things got better eventually.

These days, things are very easy, so that should be good news to you, as it sounds like you guys might have the same issue as we did.
On sex: "Neither men nor women will be asked to throw away the weapon they have used victoriously. It is the beaten and the fugitives who throw away their swords. The conquerors sheathe theirs and retain them."-C.S. Lewis

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Re: Dealing with Soreness

Postby ren » Tue Jul 22, 2014 9:19 am

Someone on the forums recommended a hot compress right after sex for me. That didn't take away all of the soreness, but it helped a lot. We used the hot water bottle I have for heating the bed in winter (and put a towel between my legs to keep any fluid off the hot water bottle as the knitted cover on the bottle is harder to wash than a towel). Then we settled down in bed to cuddle and I think I kept the water bottle there for around 40 minutes. I am definitely still sore, but it helped and having more remedies might help your husband be more willing to have sex frequently.

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Re: Dealing with Soreness

Postby Nvr2Late » Tue Jul 22, 2014 11:08 am

Lots of good advice here. I'll just add a couple more questions:

1. How long is your husband thrusting, if you don't mind my asking? If it's for a long time (this is relative, I know, but let's arbitrarily say, 30 minutes) then possibly can you find ways during foreplay to stimulate you both closer to orgasm before he enters you?

2. Are you using condoms for BC? Is it possible that you have a mild latex allergy?

3. Soreness...where exactly? If he's hitting your cervix during PIV, there are ways to avoid that. If it's just the stretching of the outer vaginal tissues, then with lots of foreplay (I mean you should be VERY aroused!) and lots of very slippery lube, and time, I would imagine the soreness will decrease.
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