pain during PIV

Painfull intercourse, pain with sexual activity, and pain that prevents sex or makes sex difficult.

pain during PIV

Postby Megan » Wed Jul 09, 2014 12:54 pm

Hey Guys, I'm new here!

I just got married about two and a half weeks ago and DH and I have not been able to have PIV yet. Every time we try I have severe pain as he trys to enter and he is not even able to enter. We have tried stretching me and sometimes he is able to get one finger in without any pain. I do have a doctor appointment next Tuesday to find out if there is any medical problem. In the meantime, has anyone else ever experienced anything like this?

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Re: pain during PIV

Postby CarrieLovesHerMan » Wed Jul 09, 2014 1:30 pm

It took hubby and I 2 months of trying to get him in me. Sometimes things arent the right size for each other. But with patience and practice (and a lot of lube lol) it will work :)

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Re: pain during PIV

Postby facetoface » Wed Jul 09, 2014 2:14 pm

I had a lot of pain during intercourse - for 3 years it persisted -until I gave birth to my first child. This was a couple decade ago.

I asked my Dr about this and she told me that she had the same problem and that it went away when she had her first child. She did not tell me about dilators so I had no idea that I could do something about this (except wait for a baby). Now I know that there are things you can do to work on this problem. Dilators are one option and you can order them online. (Try Amazon. I think some on TMB have mentioned getting them there.) You probably already know this, but be sure to use lots of lube. (We didn't know this and that may have helped us.)

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Re: pain during PIV

Postby George B. » Wed Jul 09, 2014 3:04 pm

It took us six weeks to achieve entry for the first time, mainly due to size issues, and it was not completely comfortable for us until after she had her first baby. However, this is not the case for the majority of couples. Stretching and lots of lube help. Making sure you're nice and relaxed, and that you insert him when you're ready (woman on top position helps with this). Take it slow and have fun. You may find that insertion is easier after you've had an orgasm during sex.
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Re: pain during PIV

Postby Princess_Bear » Fri Jul 11, 2014 7:34 pm

I'll second the dilator suggestion. Sex worked for us for the first three years of our marriage, but then I developed vulvodynia. Dilators have helped a LOT, and I think the end is in sight now. :)
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Re: pain during PIV

Postby ledgemoor » Sat Jul 12, 2014 7:08 am

There are two possible issues here.

Your hymen may be intact and blocking anything large from entering. Seeing he has difficulty inserting one finger, that may well be the case. In my experience, my virgin wife had no hymen due to years of tampon use. But in spite of premarital stretching on her part, we did not achieve penetration until the second day. However, we had no problem inserting a finger the even the first time. Search "is my hymen intact" and you will get articles on what to look for to see if your hymen is still there. Also search for info on how to stretch it if it is there.

It is also possible that you are just small down there. That was the case with us, and as others have described, the discomfort didn't totally go away until after childbirth.

Either way, I second the dilator suggestion. Especially if the problem turns out to be smallness and not a hymen. Working your way up to something about the size of his penis, but rigid, might alleviate pain.

Are you having orgasms by oral or manual stimulation? It is important that you start your sex life off with pleasure, and not all pain. Also, orgasm releases natural pain killers, so afterwards would be a good time to stretch or attempt PIV sex. If you attempt it, going slow, with you on top, controlling the angle and depth.

Finally, you are doing the right thing by going to a doctor. That way you will know what is going on, and hopefully he/she can advise how best to proceed.

May God greatly bless your marriage!
Everything you ever wanted in life is just outside your comfort zone (Jamie Lee Curtis)

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