Dude, you are married without any children. A hundred parents of pre-schoolers reading this thread right now are saying to themselves "Does QB seriously think there's no way to schedule sex before Bible? They don't have anybody but themselves to worry about! They must surely have 4 hours to BURN in any way they choose 5 nights a week! "thequarterback wrote:Yeah the Bible time preventing sex is seriously jacked up. She always falls asleep while I'm reading, and I usually hit myself a couple of times in the head with my Bible as soon as I close it.
Just remember this. Something is seriously jacked up... it's the fact that your wife is making you dance to the tune only she gets to play. That's not God's Design for marriage. You two are relatively newly weds. You should be having sex like 4-5 times per week like a bunch of the 50-60 year old grandparents on TMB. It would be very normal, and very reasonable for you two to be having sex every.single.day, with exceptions for periods and sickness, etc.thequarterback wrote:I'll man up about the baby conversation. Its what I do. I don't shy away from the truth...
Oh yes, we've heard before about how refusing wives can be regular sirens (look it up) as they approach ovulation, or when it suits them to head off a confrontation.thequarterback wrote:I'm dreading this conversation, though. She is being so sweet tonight. She has been very affectionate and given me a preview of things to come.
That's a far cry from 6-12 months, very, very far.thequarterback wrote: I know it has only been 24 hours, but she is really putting forth a lot of effort.
And what if she seems like a totally new woman from now till fertile time, jumping your bones every other night? How can you be sure it's a permanent total change of heart? Fact is, she has deeply sinned against you. That requires confession, asking for forgiveness, and demonstrated repentance. Can you wrap that all up in a few nights of sweetness and "come hither?"thequarterback wrote: I guess that I just want to wait and see if things start to go the other direction. That would make it much easier to bring up a 6-12 month timeline. I hear you. I know its necessary. I'm just dreading it.
There is a big difference between a change of behavior, and true repentance. Many people think that when they sin against someone all they need to do is stop being mean and start being nice and then the offended one will "figure out that I'm sorry because of my new improved behavior." Wrong. I wouldn't trust a simple change in behavior to be the real and permanent deal until I heard the words "I was so wrong. I sinned against you by doing A, and B, and especially C to you. I am so sorry, and I have no excuse. Please forgive me. I have changed in my heart and I will try my best to never do that again. What you should expect from me in the future is X, and Y, and especially Z and if you don't see those then please tell me and I will listen to you."
THEN only IF and WHEN words like this are followed by a consistent and long time of demonstrated change in behavior with a cheerful attitude , would I begin to trust that "hey, this looks real!" Almost anything else is often an insincere diversionary tactic done long enough to "get what I want." [/cynical rant, from decades of experiences]