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In the words of britney spears

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Beccaloo
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Re: In the words of britney spears

Post by Beccaloo »

wakawaka321 wrote: Fri Feb 12, 2021 6:59 pm Well until the covid lockdown stuff is over thats pretty far out of reach.
Yes, I guess that does depend on where you live & what restrictions you are having to deal with.
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DoveGrey
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Re: In the words of britney spears

Post by DoveGrey »

@WakaWaka321 -

So many of us are grieving losses right now, and yours is important. However, please try to remember that this time is temporary. I know that's difficult, but we humans are resilient. And you've got the advantage of God to strengthen you.

You've said that you are hopeless. Perhaps you are without hope right now, but understand that your situation is not in fact hopeless. You have an opportunity right now for self-improvement, for seeing how you can grow into the best version of yourself that you can be. You've said very little about yourself, so I can't give specific advice. However, you can think about your hobbies. How can you use this time to improve your skills to enrich yourself? If you don't have hobbies, make a list of things that you like, or things that have always interested you but that you've never tried. Then, pick something to start. This makes you more attractive to others, not just romantically but also for friendship. It will also give you a better outlook on who you are and will increase your self confidence. It will help you stay positive. And you will emerge fron this time as a stronger version of yourself.

I also wouldn't discount online dating. I know several successful marriages that started that way. Right now seems like the ideal time for it.

You will get through this. We are nearing the end of the worst of it, even for those of us in highly restricted areas. I understand how difficult it is as we approach the anniversary of the shutdowns. But with the vaccine here and starting to be rolled out to more of us, you will start to feel less trapped.

My prayers and support are with you.
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Re: In the words of britney spears

Post by Duchess »

DoveGrey wrote: Sat Feb 13, 2021 6:56 am @WakaWaka321 -

I also wouldn't discount online dating. I know several successful marriages that started that way. Right now seems like the ideal time for it.
I agree with this: someone very close to me who had somewhat given up hope on finding a soulmate met a woman online who could hardly be more perfect for him if she had been custom designed--as indeed she may have been by He who created the ultimate design--and they are deeply in love. They talked online for a couple months before ever meeting in person, back at the beginning of the Covid crisis.

Reach out to someone who is as lonely as you are; she may be The One or just a new friend, but either way, you will both be a little less lonely!
wakawaka321
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Re: In the words of britney spears

Post by wakawaka321 »

Duchess wrote: Sat Feb 13, 2021 4:46 pm
DoveGrey wrote: Sat Feb 13, 2021 6:56 am @WakaWaka321 -

I also wouldn't discount online dating. I know several successful marriages that started that way. Right now seems like the ideal time for it.
I agree with this: someone very close to me who had somewhat given up hope on finding a soulmate met a woman online who could hardly be more perfect for him if she had been custom designed--as indeed she may have been by He who created the ultimate design--and they are deeply in love. They talked online for a couple months before ever meeting in person, back at the beginning of the Covid crisis.

Reach out to someone who is as lonely as you are; she may be The One or just a new friend, but either way, you will both be a little less lonely!
And how can I go about this lol?
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newwifenewlife
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Re: In the words of britney spears

Post by newwifenewlife »

Duchess wrote: Sat Feb 13, 2021 4:46 pm
I also wouldn't discount online dating. I know several successful marriages that started that way. Right now seems like the ideal time for it.
wakawaka321 wrote: Tue Feb 16, 2021 12:23 am And how can I go about this lol?
My wife and I are a product of online dating. I met people and went on dates from 3 different sites I tried and rotated through for nearly 8 years on and off. I paid for Christian Cafe, Christian Mingle, & E-Harmony. There were others that I looked at but those were the ones I trusted because of my values but just because someone says they're a Christian doesn't mean they are or act like it. Personally, I dialogued with someone for 2-4 wks via the service's mail system before moving to direct email or phone and going on a date. Personally, I always tried if I could to ask via phone call for a meet/date. I was never in a hurry to meet/date (which is one reason why DW was intrigued with me). Someone had tried to meet quickly and overwhelm her (as well as many others I went out with who told me their dating horror stories.

With that said, there's several pieces of advice I would give. First, I am a man so I'm wasn't concerned for my safety like I would be as a woman. (Some people I met online had special technology or a service so I didn't get their personal number or a special email just for that purpose as well.) I only paid for Christian dating services for 3-6 months at a time so when I was tired of feeling like I was "swiping", I took a break for 3-6 months (I was also an active, divorced parent with three sons so there was always stuff to do and I didn't date when they were with me every other week.).

The following is not an exhaustive list but I do believe are important because the people that have ignored the following wisdom, tend to make poor choices, compromise, and get hurt.

ONLINE DATING THOUGHTS:
- know who you are
- grow to be the best you (do you like what you're offering? would you want to marry you?)
- NO ONE can complete you so don't look for that.
- know what you want and what are things not worth compromising
- pay attention to what is said or unsaid in a profile (do things measure up or not to various profile communication?) Does this person match your values?
- Single and lonely is better than married and lonely; do NOT just settle for anyone.
- Shared values are critical to longterm relationships
- verbal communication is critical
- don't short-circuit your process and journey with physical touch, set your boundaries before you go out
- if you find inconsistencies from their profile or in conversation, address it IMMEDIATELY...OR probably better yet...RUN!!! Integrity and trust is everything!!!
- have safe friends who love and value you, HELP view & screen profiles with you (it's your life & your decision but they might have insight), be your screening committee and hold you accountable to not just settle. You can double date.
- notice how your date treats others you interact with (on our first meet/date, now-DW apparently watched how I treated our server as well as how much I tipped her for our desserts and time at her table...she was ready to not meet again, if I treated or tipped our server poorly because she values service and generosity)

Just my 75 cents worth of advice. :lol:
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Re: In the words of britney spears

Post by Duchess »

newwifenewlife wrote: Tue Feb 16, 2021 11:16 am Just my 75 cents worth of advice. :lol:
That's quite a bargain! Excellent advice!
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