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Do 'normal men' naturally master their climax, or learn / concentrate with technique?

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rusty.mahler
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Do 'normal men' naturally master their climax, or learn / concentrate with technique?

Post by rusty.mahler »

I'm M, 65, married only 2 months, DW is same age. We've been completely intimate but have not shared intercourse, as I'm overweight. It's been 13+ years since I last had sex, so I've forgotten any aspect of the act.

We are incredibly in love, like teens, and hope to soon consummate things. I just don't know if I'll climax in seconds, or how my old body will respond. I'm keen to learn what other guys find works for them to maintain control of their approach to orgasm. Are 'normal men' actually able to endure varied and even vigorous OS, MS and PIV 'naturally', or do many apply some sort of technique to delay. Appreciated!
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Olorin
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Re: Do 'normal men' naturally master their climax, or learn / concentrate with technique?

Post by Olorin »

I find that my ability to hold off orgasm depends mostly on how long it has been since I last ejaculated. If it has been awhile (3 days or so), it might be harder for me to hold off if DW is directly stimulating me (hand job, rubbing against me, etc.). Even in that case, I know when I am getting close to the point-of-no-return and can stop the activity if I feel I am going to release.

You say that you have been 'completely intimate' but have not had intercourse. Does this mean that you brought one another to orgasm manually or by some other route? If so, did you find you had difficulty maintaining control?
rusty.mahler
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Re: Do 'normal men' naturally master their climax, or learn / concentrate with technique?

Post by rusty.mahler »

Right, mutual pleasuring, sometimes with a vibrator (which in DW's case takes longer). I don't know if it's age, but my response is erratic, sometimes O happens and I have little control, other times I feel less responsive. We're still discovering how our bodies function, since during our courtship we had weeks apart, then brief times together. Oh to be 25 again. Heck, I'd settle for 35. Or 45. BTW, thanks for the reply.
RedsPastor
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Re: Do 'normal men' naturally master their climax, or learn / concentrate with technique?

Post by RedsPastor »

rusty.mahler wrote: Sun Sep 19, 2021 3:48 pm I'm M, 65, married only 2 months, DW is same age. We've been completely intimate but have not shared intercourse, as I'm overweight. It's been 13+ years since I last had sex, so I've forgotten any aspect of the act.

We are incredibly in love, like teens, and hope to soon consummate things. I just don't know if I'll climax in seconds, or how my old body will respond. I'm keen to learn what other guys find works for them to maintain control of their approach to orgasm. Are 'normal men' actually able to endure varied and even vigorous OS, MS and PIV 'naturally', or do many apply some sort of technique to delay. Appreciated!
I am M, 43, married for 15+ years. There are times when I ejaculate quickly, and there are times when it takes 5-10 minutes. I wish there was a rhyme or reason to it. There isn't. We can go 2 days and I last 30 seconds, and we can go 5 days and I last 10-15 minutes, all with OS,MS and PIV...if someone could tell me know to figure that out, I'm all ears.

I would encourage you to have sex asap. Regardless of whether you climax in seconds or not, have sex. The consummation of marriage needs to happen. Your body and mind will remember, I promise you. Do not let your weight stop you (unless your doctor has told you otherwise). I know many overweight men who have active sex lives.
But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. -- 1 Corinithians 15:10
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benny
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Re: Do 'normal men' naturally master their climax, or learn / concentrate with technique?

Post by benny »

Could you define normal?

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David
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Re: Do 'normal men' naturally master their climax, or learn / concentrate with technique?

Post by David »

You imply that you've been married before.

First time around did you "naturally master your climax" or was it something you had to learn?
Why would second time around be any different, especially after so many years?
MrMarried
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Re: Do 'normal men' naturally master their climax, or learn / concentrate with technique?

Post by MrMarried »

I used to have very toned, exercise PC muscles. I don't know that I have mastered the climax, but usually, I can hold off until my wife has hers.

My wife is multi-orgasmic, though. I like to hold off for more than one orgasm so I'm not 'spent' fingering her after it's all over for me while she keeps going like the energizer bunny. Sometimes she likes me to orgasm during her first climax, though. I can't always time it just right, but normally I hold off for a little while.

Occasionally, I'll 'erupt' at a moment I don't want to. it was a bigger struggle as a young man. It still happens on rare occasion now. And sometimes it takes me a while to work up to being able to orgasm, not really an issue when I was young.
oldiesradio
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Re: Do 'normal men' naturally master their climax, or learn / concentrate with technique?

Post by oldiesradio »

I think it is a learned skill. As a male your innate biological urge to ejaculate is overwhelming (particularly in your teens and early 20's). For perpetuation of the species I guess we are designed to deliver the payload where it's needed as quickly and efficiently as possible. Having sex at a young age I can recall that holding back was nigh-impossible. You enter, get quickly overwhelmed by "OMG!" feelings, then......whoooops........there it is!

Over the years two things happen: Your body and it's natural response cycle slows with age, and you learn the fine points of control that only come with experience. As a young married you get a whole lot of experience with intercourse, and this allows you to learn all the fine points about your body, her body, what works best in different situations, etc. Plus you learn that hanging out in your DW's V feels really, really good and you train yourself to hold back because you want that pleasure to last for awhile.
MrMarried
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Re: Do 'normal men' naturally master their climax, or learn / concentrate with technique?

Post by MrMarried »

One trick is if you can train your body to stay hard after you ejaculate if you keep on thrusting. If you don't stop the stimulation you may be able to keep most of your erection. That may be easier if she is the one on top. Staying hard is easier when you are younger. The sensations not being overwhelming are easier when you are older. A penis ring might help. I used to do this occasionally when I was in my 30's, probably. But I usually hold out until my wife starts having orgasms, and she seems okay if subsequent orgasms aren't all from PIV, so I don't really have need for this talent... that I used to have from time to time but haven't tested much in recent years to see if I can do it.

You can also do male Kegel exercises including a 'pushout' kind, to work against testicles pulling up against the body, which is kind of like your body 'pulling the trigger.' A penis ring between the testicles and body might work if you got used to it. I think it may make it hard to control for me, though. It can be hard to hold off without losing rhythm, too, and she needs a good rhythm to climax. If you can find strokes that stimulate her well that aren't too stimulating for you, that can really help. Also, especially when I was younger and on a hair trigger, I found really slow entry and exit combined with clitoral stimulation could be a way to go to hold off.

Also, having an ejaculation some minutes, a half an hour or an hour before (or a few hours or whatever), where you are just out of your refractory period but able to perform may help. But this may work better for younger men. Having sex in this condition may make it just a bit less 'interesting' for the man, but he can focus on the sensations of feeling her body, looking at her, etc. since sensations down below may be a little reduced. This may enable him to go for longer sessions.
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benny
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Re: Do 'normal men' naturally master their climax, or learn / concentrate with technique?

Post by benny »

MrMarried wrote:One trick is if you can train your body to stay hard after you ejaculate if you keep on thrusting. If you don't stop the stimulation you may be able to keep most of your erection. That may be easier if she is the one on top. Staying hard is easier when you are younger. The sensations not being overwhelming are easier when you are older. A penis ring might help. I used to do this occasionally when I was in my 30's, probably. But I usually hold out until my wife starts having orgasms, and she seems okay if subsequent orgasms aren't all from PIV, so I don't really have need for this talent... that I used to have from time to time but haven't tested much in recent years to see if I can do it.

You can also do male Kegel exercises including a 'pushout' kind, to work against testicles pulling up against the body, which is kind of like your body 'pulling the trigger.' A penis ring between the testicles and body might work if you got used to it. I think it may make it hard to control for me, though. It can be hard to hold off without losing rhythm, too, and she needs a good rhythm to climax. If you can find strokes that stimulate her well that aren't too stimulating for you, that can really help. Also, especially when I was younger and on a hair trigger, I found really slow entry and exit combined with clitoral stimulation could be a way to go to hold off.

Also, having an ejaculation some minutes, a half an hour or an hour before (or a few hours or whatever), where you are just out of your refractory period but able to perform may help. But this may work better for younger men. Having sex in this condition may make it just a bit less 'interesting' for the man, but he can focus on the sensations of feeling her body, looking at her, etc. since sensations down below may be a little reduced. This may enable him to go for longer sessions.
I agree with you, and I find it helps if she is still wanting, being able to feed off her sexual energy helpful too

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