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9/10/21 - what did you do with your finances after marriage?

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newwifenewlife
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9/10/21 - what did you do with your finances after marriage?

Post by newwifenewlife »

What did you do with your finances when you got married and what was the reasoning you did it that way?

SUGGESTED OPTIONS:
1) Combined main account(s) where you both are on it and have access?
2) Completely separate accounts and you divide up bills and life expenses to pay from then?
3) A hybrid plan where there’s a main account money goes into and then each spouse has a separate account for personal/“mad” money and/or specific budgeted expenses?

BONUS:
- Is it the same now as when you got married?
- Any stories or thoughts to share?
Last edited by SeekingChange on Fri Sep 10, 2021 5:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Made sticky


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footnassman
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Re: 9/10/21 - what did you do with your finances after marriage?

Post by footnassman »

We have been married for 30 yrs. We have never had, or wanted to have, separate accounts. She "runs" the financial household. All personal funds go into the accounts she manages and pays bills from. I own a business, so I do have my business accounts. I write her a check every two weeks to represent my "salary" or pay into the joint account. I handle all of the financial aspects of the business.

This is unchanged in 30 yrs. I do not foresee it changing. We are blessed in life and are able to afford all needs within the family and some "wants". We do try to live in a conservative and somewhat frugal way, financially. We have been able to set aside money for retirement, though I am never certain if you ever feel that you have set enough aside. (???).

The "ours", "mine", and "his/her" accounting thing wouldnt work for us. We are not fans of it. We have some friends who do it, and seemingly successfully. We know of others where this is misused and has created too much friction.

Just our/my thoughts on the matter.
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Re: 9/10/21 - what did you do with your finances after marriage?

Post by ng95901 »

Ours started out as Completely separate accounts where we each had bills and life expenses to pay then eventually a few decades down the line we added a joint account after we gained certain assets while still maintaining our separate ones. Wasn't really any forethought or discussion about it, was simply the way that it evolved and continued throughout our marriage. Never really been any stress or drama over it either...
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Re: 9/10/21 - what did you do with your finances after marriage?

Post by LovingHimAlways »

newwifenewlife wrote: Fri Sep 10, 2021 9:27 pm
LovingHimAlways wrote: Fri Sep 10, 2021 9:02 am….
I am curious what amount you allow yourselves each month,, if anyone is willing to share? Obviously the amount will be dependent on income but, i just wanted a general idea. Feel free to PM me. :D

eta: also what types of things do you allot that money for? Lunches out, hobbies, personal items etc? NWNL mentioned his wife pays for her salon visits and make up…
On top of the monthly auto depo into our separate accounts, each of us gets $20/wk funny money. Just like the personal accounts, the weekly money is to do what we want without questions or accountability BECAUSE we already AGREED on our budget.

The monthly amount which goes into our accounts is $75 for DW and $50 for me. DW gets more for haircuts and makeup. If she wants to buy “trinkets” for the house, she would call them decorations, I think it’s a waste, she might take them out of that account so I couldn’t say anything (vs if it needed to come out of our household furnishings budget). DW LOVES 2nd hand store shopping for more blue bottles and bowls for fresh cut flowers in our kitchen or other misc things. (Drives me crazy since it doesn’t feel needed or practical, it’s not what I value, but she creates a beautiful home and can turn trash into treasures. She sees the beauty in it so if it makes her happy and she enjoys the hunt, so be it and even more so if it’s from her account.

Doing this eliminated some fighting, unnecessary permissions, a sense of freedom (big from her past) and privacy when ordering certain things, and a debit card for purchases. DW has been know to put her clothes, personal and even cash gifts in her account.

We also have separate clothes envelopes at $20/month.
Thanks NWNL :)

We have always just bought something if we needed/wanted it as long as we had money. I like this idea to give myself some accountability and control on my spending. :)
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newwifenewlife
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Re: 9/10/21 - what did you do with your finances after marriage?

Post by newwifenewlife »

LovingHimAlways wrote: Sat Sep 11, 2021 7:00 pm We have always just bought something if we needed/wanted it as long as we had money. I like this idea to give myself some accountability and control on my spending. :)
Go for it!

Yes, if we always spend the money we supposedly have, they eventually we won't have the money we're supposed to have. :lol: I always laugh at Dave Ramsey's old story about the couple who started monitoring their spending habits and came back to the advisor and said, "I found out where our retirement money went. We've been eating it!" They admitted they were spending $800/month going out to eat rather than saving for retirement. :o
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Re: 9/10/21 - what did you do with your finances after marriage?

Post by TxGuy »

From day one we closed our individual accounts and opened a joint account. We have an account we pay bills from and an account we put excess money in for each of us to spend as we decide.
We have our home in both names and any big purchases are in both names. We also use the Every Dollar app from Dave Ramsey.
Proudly married for 24 years. Through all the ups and downs we are blessed to be together.
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Re: 9/10/21 - what did you do with your finances after marriage?

Post by Link+Zelda »

newwifenewlife wrote: Sun Sep 12, 2021 3:55 am I always laugh at Dave Ramsey's old story about the couple who started monitoring their spending habits and came back to the advisor and said, "I found out where our retirement money went. We've been eating it!" They admitted they were spending $800/month going out to eat rather than saving for retirement. :o
I know many people here aren't math people. That's okay, and you can skip this post if you want...

When that couple admitted to "eating" their retirement, they weren't joking. Replace that $800/month eating out with $200/month eating in and invest the other $600... That $600/month (increased with inflation) continuously invested into stocks (which historically grow at 7.2% annually after inflation) would translate into $1.56 MILLION in present-day dollars if done every month for a 40-year working career. Using a typical 4% safe-withdrawal rate in retirement (which includes inflation), that equates to $62,500/yr of retirement income. That's just a few % shy of the median household income in the U.S. So yes, they literally ate an entire median household income's worth of retirement away...
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newwifenewlife
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Re: 9/10/21 - what did you do with your finances after marriage?

Post by newwifenewlife »

Link+Zelda wrote: Sun Sep 12, 2021 6:18 pm ...When that couple admitted to "eating" their retirement, they weren't joking. Replace that $800/month eating out with $200/month eating in and invest the other $600... That $600/month (increased with inflation) continuously invested into stocks (which historically grow at 7.2% annually after inflation) would translate into $1.56 MILLION in present-day dollars if done every month for a 40-year working career. Using a typical 4% safe-withdrawal rate in retirement (which includes inflation), that equates to $62,500/yr of retirement income. That's just a few % shy of the median household income in the U.S. So yes, they literally ate an entire median household income's worth of retirement away...
Yes Link. It makes me sick sometimes to know now what I know & UNDERSTAND now. I wish I could go back and restart my early years. Even just $100/month INVESTED would've changed things signficantly. I did some early pre-tax deductions. HOWEVER, I didn't do anything significant with the month and so it didn't grow as it could have. UGH!!!

DW didn't have anything in retirement when we got married so we've been chunking away to build the ROTH we started for her as well as an HSA in her name, which is also partially invested in MFs. She probably has more money in her ROTH now than I did at the same age she is and DW should have more in her accounts when she reaches my current age than I do because of us getting serious about it.
Last edited by SeekingChange on Mon Sep 13, 2021 5:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Changed name.
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Re: 9/10/21 - what did you do with your finances after marriage?

Post by Irnmyk »

newwifenewlife wrote: Mon Sep 13, 2021 4:33 am
Link+Zelda wrote: Sun Sep 12, 2021 6:18 pm
Yes Link. It makes me sick sometimes to know now what I know & UNDERSTAND now. I wish I could go back and restart my early years.
All I will add is, don't we all? (Well, I can speak for all of us, but I certainly wish the same.)

I think that the OP is wise to have started thinking about this when he did and asked what he asked that started this, and I hope that many reading will take heed.
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Re: 9/10/21 - what did you do with your finances after marriage?

Post by 4strongmarriage »

Started with separate accounts only because DH only wanted a few checks paid per month and things were complicated. So I took over all bill paying except for a few. Eventually we needed money and it was dumb having more than one account with each account needing a minimum balance. So start with what works best for you. DH felt better as we slowly merged into fewer accounts and fewer places. Using financial software such as Mint or Quicken puts it all together so that each spouse can see big picture. As for spending when we were both working limit for fun was $100. Now we retired it is more like $50. Retirement planning was absolutely necessary and using those programs gave us a good idea where we spend money.
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Re: 9/10/21 - what did you do with your finances after marriage?

Post by 4strongmarriage »

oops forgot to add, it is important to teach your kids about saving. I was lucky my dad gave me an IRA for my birthday one year and I was hooked on savings. I love to start accounts with my kids and watch it grow. They learn all about compounding. Because face it, we get time or money. Pick one and see how it goes...
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