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- Posts: 5210
- Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2020 8:45 pm
- Location: All I know is I'm not home yet
I am going to throw my personal opinion in here though.... I have been a part of different forums and from my experience with live chats via IM, it caused a LOT more issues and fostered a lot of sin, especially when it's around the topic of sex. Sin likes to thrive in secret and darkness, and one on one chats, where there is no accountability, seems to be a perfect breeding ground for that. Personally, I would not recommend it for the integrity of TMB, and the people who are a part of it.
As a guy friend told me recently, he feels safe with me because he knows what he's getting. There aren't any surprise physical contacts like hugs or arm touches from me. He can talk to his wife about me without feeling like he has to talk to his wife about me, if you see what I'm saying.
Having an IM or chat feature adds that element of surprise and lack of control on the receiver's part. It's an intrusion. It isn't always unwelcome, but it can be. Our current DM system allows us more control. If there's a DM I'm not in the mood to answer, I can leave it alone for the time being. I have control over it.
If we had a way to turn the feature off, or were able to specify who was able to IM us (wives only, for example), then I wouldn't be opposed to it. I might not use it, but I could see how others might. But the control over it would need to be there.
2.6 lbs of 17.8 lost
To get a glimpse of what a chat-like feature can do to a community like TMB, check out this comment: viewtopic.php?p=42209#p42209. I'm sure some think that TMB wouldn't have that kind of stuff happen, but I absolutely disagree. Sites like this attract, and always will attract, people that can be considered "wolves in sheep's clothing". I can guarantee you that some people who frequent this site are not as they appear to be, and I don't need any special mod knowledge to say that (I knew that long before becoming a mod).
Personally, I'm concerned enough about the PM (aka DM) system we have here. I can only pray and hope that the authentic people here are wary of wolves and properly report any shenanigans they see in the unregulated realm of PMs. Honestly, even two well-meaning and authentic people can unintentionally end up going places they shouldn't without the accountability of the open forum.